you need to find out what format your DVD player outputs the optical digital signal in... the two options are Dolby Digital (the famous DD logo, with one D backwards) or DTS.
Whichever of the above is outputted by your DVD player, your AV receiver/amp needs to support.
If your DVD player only outputs a 5.1 signal, and your amp supports 6.1, this makes no difference, it'll cope with 5.1 anyway. Most DVDs are DD 5.1 anyway.
Now we know if both parties are compatible or not...
Assuming they are compatible, you need to obtain an optical cable for about $12/£10 and plug the two together. Unlike RCA, you dont need to turn the equipment off first.
Next, set your DVD player to output 5.1 surround sound in whatever format it can.
Then set your AV receiver/amp to the optical input and tell it to either auto-detect the signal, or you can manually set it to DD or DTS (whichever it is).
As for only getting sound out of both front speakers *or* just the center speaker, this isn't even possible, i don't think. It sounds to me like your levels are all wrong in your amp. Go into the setup menu for your amplifier, and activate the test tone (it should have one). This allows you to alter the level of each speaker so they all sound the same.
Any questions, don't hesitate to ask!
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