Hopefully I didn't blow the dust off of this one...
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind
him,"My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't
have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic
computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you
what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten
dollars... a lot cheaper than a doctor."
So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.
He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine
sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the
computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and
avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks."
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack
began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a
stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and
masturbated into the mixture for good measure. Jack hurries back to
Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and
awaits the results The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.
Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.
Damn quantity laws...
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