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01-13-2002, 08:21 AM

If Klingon's Developed Software.......

Things likely to be overheard if you had a Klingon on your software development team:

"This code is a piece of crap! You have no honor!"

"A TRUE Klingon warrior does not comment his code!"

"By filing this bug you have questioned my family honor. Prepare to die!"

"You question the worthiness of my Code?! I should kill you where you stand!"

"Our competitors are without honor!"

"Specs are for the weak and timid!"

"This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual AMD processors if I am to do battle with this code!"

"Perhaps it IS a good day to Die! I say we ship it!"

"My program has just dumped Stova Core!"

"Behold, the keyboard of Kalis! The greatest Klingon code warrior that ever lived!"

Things a Klingon Project Manger (PM) would be likely to say:

"Back on Kalis Prime we programmed in COBOL, and the young still sing songs in our honor."

"A Klingon PM does not question his orders!"

"Our clients are weak, they will do nothing."

"Klingon programmers do not need to sleep!"

"I am the PM, I may change the design as I see fit."

"Do not challenge me unless you are prepared to die."

"Your code is weak, and you are weak. Give me one reason I should not kill you where you stand!"

"It is time, prepare yourself for the Ritual of Testing."

"We will meet the schedule or die!"

"This code is a piece of GAGH! Prepare to die!"