Stella's

[SPEEDO]

Once again, it's time to review the winners of the
Annual Stella Awards. The Stella's are named after
81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself
& successfully sued McDonalds. That case inspired
the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful
lawsuits in the United States.

Unfortunately, the most recent lawsuit implicating
McDonalds & the teens who allege that eating at
McDonalds has made them fat, was filed after the
2002 award voting was closed. This suit will,
undoubtedly, top the 2003 awards list.

~~*~~

5th place (tied)

Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded
$780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her
ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside
a furniture store. The owners of the store were
understandably surprised at the verdict, considering
the misbehaving toddler was Ms Robertson's son.
~~*~~

5th place (tied)

19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles, California, won
$74,000 &medical expenses when his neighbor ran over
his hand with a Honda Accord.

Mr. Truman apparently did not notice there was someone
at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal the hubcaps.

~~*~~

5th place (tied)

Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving
a house he had just finished robbing by way of the
garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go
up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning.
He could not re-enter the house because the door
connecting the house &garage locked when he pulled it
shut. The family were on vacation &Mr. Dickson found
himself locked in the garage for 8 days.

He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found &a large bag
of dry dog food. He sued the house owners insurance
claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish.
The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

~~*~~

4th place

Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded
$14,500 &medical expenses after being bitten on the
buttocks by his next door neighbor's Beagle dog. The
Beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard.

The award was less than sought because the jury felt
the dog might have been a little provoked at the time,
as Mr. Williams who had climbed over the fence into
the yard, was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

~~*~~

3rd place

A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber
Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500, after she
slipped on a soft drink &broke her coccyx (tailbone).

The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had
thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an
argument.

~~*~~

2nd place

Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, sued the owner of a
night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the
bathroom window to the floor &knocked out two of her
front teeth.

This occurred whilst Ms. Walton was trying to crawl
through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying
the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 &
dental expenses.

~~*~~

1st place

This year's runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a
brand new Winnebago Motor Home. On his trip home from
an OU football game, having driven onto the freeway, he
set the cruise control at 70 mph &calmly left the drivers seat to
go into the back &make himself a cup of coffee.
(((( OMG!!! ))))
Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed &
then overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not
advising him, by reading the owner's manual, that he
actually could not do this.

The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago
Motor Home.

The company actually changed their manuals on the basis
of this suit just in case there were any other complete
morons buying their recreation vehicles.

[Theophylact]

False.

Why not check first when you find something that seems to confirm your prejudices so perfectly?

[SPEEDO]

Hey someone emailed it to me so I posted it because I thought it was funny.

And I'm not prejudice I hate everybody equally......

But leave it to you to pounce on every freakin' thing that flies by! Right.

What do you do sit there and check everyones post to verify whether it's true or false.

The only reason I post here anymore is for my own entertainment because no one here pays any attention to anything I post except you evidently..................

[Theophylact]

What do you do sit there and check everyones post to verify whether it's true or false.

[sigh]No, SPEEDO, only the ones that stick out a yard and a half as phony.[/sigh] This one isn't "funny", it comes with a political agenda behind it. Plain simple dumb stuff I tend to ignore.

Personal attack removed!!
KK

[RADAR1797]

SPEEDO,

Removed .

-RADAR

Stop being rude and keep your precious advice for yourself.
KK

[FTM]

Bad mood today Theo? That was terribly rude.

I don't think verifying the accuracy of the post was a prerequisite to posting... you of all people should appreciate that.

[tony_j15]

true or false, i dont care. Its funny

[M_Six]

Since when is using your brain for something besides keeping your ears apart considered being "cold"?

And Theo, ease up on my homey there. Some of those are funny and while they may be falsehoods, they do represent the state of tort law cases in the US. Believe me, I was formerly married to an insurance adjuster and I saw some absolutely ludicrous verdicts go against her company for things that were clearly the fault of the idiot bringing the suit.

For instance, a $1.2 million dollar award for pain and suffering because some woman twisted her knee when she stepped on a cereal box that she admitted she saw and stepped on anyway. It seems sometimes that juries are hand-chosen for their stupidity and gullibility.

[Knothead]

Well, that's okay. I read through the article that Theo clipped for us, and found some pretty good ones that apparently actually ARE accurate, to wit:

"Though the cases described in the e-mail are fake, real lawsuits of equal silliness can be found in abundance. An equally impressive list could easily have been compiled by anyone with access to a news database and a few moments to spare. For instance:


--In March 1995, a San Diego man unsuccessfully attempted to sue the city and Jack Murphy Stadium for $5.4 million over something than can only be described as a wee problem -- Robert Glaser claimed the stadium's unisex bathroom policy at a Billy Joel and Elton John concert caused him embarrassment and emotional distress thanks to the sight of a woman using a urinal in front of him. He subsequently tried "six or seven" other bathrooms in the stadium only to find women in all of them. He asserted he "had to hold it in for four hours" because he was too embarrassed to share the public bathrooms with women.

--A San Carlos, California, man is suing the Escondido Public Library for $1.5 million. His dog, a 50-pound Labrador mix, was attacked by the library's 12-pound feline mascot, L.C., (also known as Library Cat).

--In 1994, a student at the University of Idaho unsuccessfully sued that institution over his fall from a third-floor dorm window. He'd been mooning other students when the window gave way. It was contended the University failed to provide a safe environment for students or to properly warn them of the dangers inherent to upper-story windows.

--In 1993, McDonald's was unsuccessfully sued over a car accident in New Jersey. While driving, a man who had placed a milkshake between his legs, leaned over to reach into his bag of food and squeezed the milkshake container in the process. When the lid popped off and spilled half the drink in his lap, this driver became distracted and ran into another man's car. That man in turn tried to sue McDonald's for causing the accident, saying the restaurant should have cautioned the man who had hit him against eating while driving. "

It all points to our frustration over the business of "law" in this country.

I can tell you some personal stories about lawyers, believe me!

[Mickwish]

Cold weather affecting our tempers, is it?

Yeah, these emails have been circulating for years. It's easy to believe 'em, though. The Winnebago one was also used in another email suggesting why instruction manuals contain odd things - like the advice not to leave the Winnebago "autopilot" by itself.

Let's play nice, ppl.

Cheers
Mick