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Old 01-27-2004, 03:04 AM   #1 (permalink)
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HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: (new 2003 version)

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: (new 2003 version)

1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
2. She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
3. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
4. She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
5. She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
6. She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
7. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
8. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.
9. She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
10. She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
11. She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
12. She is not a TWO-BIT WHORE - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE
FACILITY.
2. He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
3. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ATERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
4. He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
5. He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.
6. He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
7. He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of
RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.
8. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.
9. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.
10. He is not HORNY - He is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

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Old 01-27-2004, 06:10 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Excellent. I'll try using some of these at work and see if it gets me anywhere.

On the other hand, maybe not!
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Old 01-27-2004, 06:38 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I"m a women and i think right now it is best to keep my comments to myself before i get in trouble
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Old 01-27-2004, 10:17 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Nice one nunya.
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Old 01-28-2004, 08:31 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Very Good one there Nunya
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Old 01-28-2004, 09:11 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Nice..
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Old 01-28-2004, 10:13 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Very funny. "OVERLY CAUCASIAN." Haha!
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Old 01-28-2004, 10:20 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Overly Caucasion.... I think I resemble that one!
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Old 01-28-2004, 10:25 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Yeah that sounds like me too. Maybe thats because I am.
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Old 01-28-2004, 06:17 PM   #10 (permalink)
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But some pathetic soul may come along and scold and chastise you for using all caps in the title. Oh, not ME. I'm not that pathetic.
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