thought i'd start a thread that leaned away from the intellect. Mine was a oriental girl in first grade. Must of been the mystique of the orient , I stole a necklace from my mom and brought it to school and gave it to her, teacher found out and needless to say I was told that was a no-no, I saw her years after we graduated high school, the mystique was gone (and she was married), but she made first grade worth attending
i was thinking we might get some stories outta this, step in line and let's hear what it was about Ashley Phillips that set your heart all aflame, that goes for everyone's Ashley Phillips, not just GZ3's
Originally posted by sao95 i was thinking we might get some stories outta this, step in line and let's hear what it was about Ashley Phillips that set your heart all aflame, that goes for everyone's Ashley Phillips, not just GZ3's
we were always hanging out with each other. i remember hanging out, playing sports, beating each other up. you know the usual stuff kids do It was basically my first childhood love.
now if you want to talk about something when i was alittle bit more older and i was hurt really bad
Originally posted by Optimus Prime "sorry the administrator has banned your IP Address" !. Alright if you copy and paste it just for me? .
None here, never had any good ones in my class.
should i ask why
sure here it is
Quote:
My head hurts from thinking all the time. i thought i had everything that everything was perfectly right. I can't sleep right now i wish i could fall alseep and not have to deal with it ever again. im still in denial that this is even happening to me. where did it go wrong? but what did i do or not do to have this happen. i let my walls down slowly and i still got hurt. i thought about not even trusting her but still i gave her a chance. maybe im not ready to date or i can't handle it. i never wanted this to happened. i feel life throwing up and there is nothing that nobody can tell me thats gonnna make me feel better. i have been sad for a long time and she made me happy. i thought about her all the time and when i was pissed she called and she made me happy just by calling me up. i hate the idea of not be able to hug or touch her. it kills my insides so much thinking about it that i wish i could cut this part out. now im sitting here at 4 am wondering what to do now. should i be mad at myself or her? i try to listen to music to ease the pain but all it does is dulls it. everytime i look at my self i feel like pulling back from the world casue all it seems to want to do i hurt me. No f@ck that. there to much to look forward to be that down. okay that was a lame attempt to make myself feel better. but i guess this is the things you have to risk. i believe i love her. its not an obsesion or facuation. she says i don't. i have this knot now and i know that i care for her very much. i tried to treat her the way no one ever has. i don't know how that is but i treated her alot different than most girls. i guess you could call it special becasue she was different from the other girls. She wasn't *****y, whiny she stood up for what she wanted. she wasn't impressed by cars, money, or the type of clothes sometimes i felt like she didn't even found me attractive. maybe that why i had a hard time trusting her becasue i don't know if i was the the type of guy she wanted to be with. i wish this all made since. it caught me off guard and when i asked that question and it took her a while to answer it i knew that i was in trouble. its hard to talk to her casue she is just as lost and confused as i am. we both are drifting around looking for answer that no one can answer but we have to just figure out on our own. ah sh!t today i have to work and its gonna be so long. f@ck it. hopefully it will be busy and it will distract me. i hate being in denial i feel that tommorow im gonna wake up and its gonna be all a bad dream. i wonder what the dream motif book would tell me if this was a dream. come on wake up please. just thinking about it makes me cry. she told me that she doesn't feel sad over the fact and that she can get over it quickly. i cried when she told me that. i felt like i was used and taken advantage of sometimes but i get mad at myself for even thinking that for one second. Staring at this screen listening to Deftones is not makeing me feel better. holy f@ck i wrote alot about one girl. i don't think i have ever done this. i tried to talk to my best friend jen but that didn't help. all it did was make me lonelyer casue i was thinking about how happy she is dating nate. i have this bad taste in my mouth. the night seems to drag on mocking me as i go thru this crap. drugs...... LOL drugs would make it all better i wouldn't be able to feel **** if i took some drugs. and if i took enuough i could attucaly get some sleep maybe. i wondering if she is having the same problem or if she is sleeping fine. f@ck f@ck f@ck i was gonna spend my pay check on her takening her out if i could of gotten it alittle bit faster. i can't be spontanous all the time and working a job is hard enough. i come home tired and just want to relax. ahhh bull**** excuses. she never was never really spontanous and it is a two way street. im done with it. im out of the dating scene. i can't deal with the hurt and bullsh!t anymore. now im probbally gonna get sick worrying and stressing. damn't. i want to help her out so bad but theres only so much i can do. i want to be angry but i can't. i want to make her happy but i can't. so what good am i to her? im basically a boring guy. IM BORING!!! ouch okay that hurt me admitting to that. i give and give and i get ****ted on. ouch ouch ouch heart hurting. Damn't shawn where the f@ck are you???!?! i need to talk becasue you know how to help. my head hurts from thinking all the time. where is my life going and where will i end up. she says shes scared. im scared too but you can't be scared for life. you need to move over your fear. i asked if she was scared of me. she wouldn't answer. yes or no. that hurt. I wish i could be the guy she has always wanted. i felt maybe if i got out of the car yesterday grabbed her and kissed all over and told her i wanted her she wouldn't be feeling this way. No i can't dwell on well what if i did this or if i did this defferently. i don't need to start thinking that way. f@ck 4:42. i wish i could work a double today. more money and plus i wouldn't have to come home till about 10.
and yes that is how i posted it. no paragraphs, no spell checker and done at like 4:30 am in the morning.
Sorry Blazer, no offense meant, just needed and example.
The reason I was banned was because I had an argument with SRJ , it all got to much and he didn't want to answer my questions anymore, ah well, this is a better place.
Ya I remember my first real love...and how much it tore me up when she broke up with me. I remember crying myself to sleep at night for about the first week...
...oh and did I mention that she broke up with me over ICQ?!?!?!!? Talk about gutless....
__________________
For Some it's the Path...not the Goal.
, I stole a necklace from my mom and brought it to school and gave it to her, teacher found out and needless to say I was told that was a no-no, I saw her years after we graduated high school, the mystique was gone (and she was married), but she made first grade worth attending 
!. Alright if you copy and paste it just for me? 
should i ask why 
Linear Mode
