The Perils of the Cocaine Addict

[brandon184]

This is a rant. Respond if you wish. (Advice would be helpful, too.)

We're having a little problem with a friend in our little social circle. The problems started a few weeks ago when a new guy starting showing up intermittently at gatherings now and then. I didn't like him from the beginning. Something really bothered me about him.. Seemed like a real slimeball, but the ladies within the group were all attracted to him like a moth to a flame. I'm not usually anti-social, but I made it clear from the beginning that I most certainly had no intention of hanging around with him. So, I didn't. IMO, it was justified - all he talked about was getting "tanked" and doing all sorts of dumb crap. (ex. His idea of a "fun" New Years is, once the clock strikes 12, is to go around and destroy/vandalize stuff... That was all I really needed to hear.)

Anyway, a girl (one of my good friends) has recently decided to become involved with this winner. We discussed drug use in the past, and I've made it more than clear about what my position with drugs is... And that position is I have absolutely no tolerance for drug use, in the least. I can BARELY tolerate marijuana use, but that's probably because I rarely find myself subjected to those who use it. Her opinion was similiar, although what I've seen her doing lately said slightly otherwise. So a few days ago, she tells me (in reference to this troublemaker), "Oh, he told me why he's been so depressed lately.. He's been burnt out from coke." ... I, of course, reaffirmed what my opinion on that matter was and left. I told her he was nothing but a slimeball and now we're having to deal with this sort of crap. Going off of what I (thought I) knew about her opinions on drug use - I (and others) assumed/expected she would drop this guy like a bag of dirt. They've only been "together" for about a week anyway. Well, that's where I was wrong. She seems only slightly inconvenienced by the whole thing and not really upset with this guy at all.

I talked to another friend about it, and she was absolutely livid... Because, apparently this guy had been at her house and had been doing his little coke thing in her home. Cocaine is not something she wants in, or anywhere near her home. And few of us feel differently.

We're mainly concerned for our friend who is involved with this guy. They are basically "connected at the hip", and unfortunately - the rest of us do not hang around cocaine addicts. We do not invite them (or any drug user) into our homes, and we all basically feel that it's best to just avoid someone who is involved in that stuff. Because, you never know what scene you're going to accidentally get dragged into.

I have no idea what the best way to approach the situation is. I have a feeling that if we just sit back and "wait for her to learn her lesson", she's going to get burned... badly. Yet it's not something that you would ever bother approaching her about, because she's going to defend him to the death... Which is sad, because I can picture someone being in denial about their partner's problem if they have been together for an extended period of time. But to have only known this person for a few weeks and already defend their horrendous actions is strange.

What would you guys do? I'm concerned, but I'm also mad that she doesn't see a huge problem with this. And when people screw themselves over as a result of drug use, I'm not going to be there to lend a sympathetic ear when they want to moan about how their life has gone down the tubes.

When I think of this from a personal perspective, I want to help somehow. But when I think about the well-being of my/our other friends, my deeper instinct says (as harsh as this may sound) to just forget about her. I'll be just fine, but I don't want anyone to get burned just because I tried to intervene.

Thoughts? Your own experiences?

- Brandon

[Beemer]

I left for Edmonton back in '81 only to return 4 years to my old best friend hung up on the stuff. Lots of love in the family and no reason to go this way. I talked to him about it nicely and then later on harshly. Not harsh enough though. He got into fixing $70.00 hits into one needle and after a short period of time we were burying him 6 feet under.

This affects me to this day I as keep thinking that since talking didn't work I should have taken the assault rap and put him into the hospital for a long time. Maybe then he would still be alive. You can't talk them into going to the rehab centre when they get that bad. They really have to have a bad accident with the stuff before they can even start thinking about helping them selves.

Since it has only been a few weeks she is still within your grasp. Tell her parents, grandmother, and anyone else close to her. Be damned if you lose her as a friend. This isn't important at the moment.

Coke is a "I don't care" drug. Within a short period of time she will be addicted to the garbage and even if she breaks up with this guy, she may become a coke slut. anything for the drug of choice.

Get the local football team together and put the big fear into him.

Call the cops on him and get him put away. Find out when he is holding and get him busted. Do a con job if you have to accomplish this.

Do what ever it takes.

Don't make the same mistake as I did with my friend. Complacency won't get her back.

Cheers!

[mad1]

Coke is a very addictive drug, don't let them tell you otherwise. Cocaine has many effects on the body that are detrimental to the body.
"Cocaine affects your body. People who use cocaine often don't eat or sleep regularly. They can experience increased heart rate, muscle spasms, convulsions,seizures,strokes and respiratory failure.. If they snort cocaine, they can also permanently damage their nasal tissue."
I have a freind who had a heart attack from cocaine use, he was lucky to survive.
People hooked on cocaine will neglect themselves and others to get the drug, purchasing cocaine instead of food is a common one.
A coulpe of signs of cocaine use are,
Dialated pupils
Constant grinding of the teeth, wears the enamel off the teeth
Appears to have a constant "sniffling" problem.
Paranoid
Loss of weight
Change of freinds or people that are associated with.

The end results are usually,
Stopped using
Jail
Dead!

Do whatever you can to stop this from happening, they may hate you now but most will realize in the future that you cared for them.

[RayH]

Don't even tolerate marijuana. It's not a benign drug. The marijuana of the hippy days would probably burn your throat and give you a headache before it got anybody high. The marijuana of today is genetically engineered.

As for cocaine, it is highly addictive, although it's withdrawals tend to be less severe than heroin. Crack cocaine (smoking form) is the most highly addictive. Somking it doesn't decrease desire, it increases it. There are no social users of crack cocaine...only addicts.

Unfortuantely, I hope your friend realizes before its too late that he'll probably drag her down, rather than she pull him up. He needs help. But he may not get that help before he gets arrested. And, she may get arrested with him. But they both migh wind up dead even before that happens.

Who drives when this couple goes out?

[Theophylact]

Unlike marijuana, cocaine kills.

[daveleau]

I had a couple of roommates that brought home a girl one night and she said she wanted to party. We thought she meant she wanted to get (more) drunk, but instead she popped out a bag of coke. She was promptly escorted out of the house and she made a scene in our driveway. But, at least she was gone.

I think it is great to see someone in this world of widespread drug use, and tolerance of the same, take a stand. While I would be hesitant to abandon the friend, I would limit contact with her to trying to bring her back before she gets hooked on coke too. That would be very sad.

[RayH]

Dave--great job. Had that girl had a seizure in your apartment, all of you would have been in jail!

[The Real Bingo]

Brandon, this girl never did drugs before? If she hasnt, its really a shame some ***** who does can influence her in that way. Really a shame. I hope she comes to her senses before it's too late..

offensive term removed - Fingers

[mad1]

I would not allow this person to ride in my vehicle or enter my home. Here is a example of a situation,
You and a freind are going somewhere and run into or the freind asks you to give him a ride to a place. This person enters your vehicle, having possesion of cocain without your knowledge, during the ride a police officer make a traffic stop on your vehicle. This person not wanting to get caught stuffs the cocain in the seat. The office notices that there is something suspicious about the situation and ask for permission to search your vehicle. You being the good citizen gives permission to search the vehihcle. During the search the office uncovers to cocaine in the seat near where the person was riding.The office then questions the person regarding the cocaine and he denys having the cociane and does not know where it came from. The officemnext goes to you and you deny knowledge of the cocaine. Not being able to determine the ownership of the cocaine the arrests you for posession of coaine.

[Prison Kids]

Great post Beemer

I have been very close to the point that your friend was myself. I have now been clean for over ten years, and have also quit smoking and drinking. Drugs are bad news. Especially Cocaine!

It took me going to federal prison for 7 years, torn from my family, to finally wake me up.

Cocaine is one of the few drugs that has the potential to turn a person into a complete addict after only one use. After that, all reasoning goes completely astray. I now look back in shock at how screwed up I was, and how I did nothing to change it at the time. Straight tunnel vision to the next dose.

The reason I say this is to re-enforce what Beemer was saying.

If you are going to try and stop someone from doing cocaine, get ready for a big job. Talking to them, usually won't do a thing. It takes extreme measures, and if I new the "fix all" I would be a wealthy man, but if you do care for someone enough, do all you can to stop them:

1. get them clean
2. get rid of their supplier
3. give them a purpose to stay clean

Stick with it, and don't ever assume they are clean for at least 6 months (more like a year). Watch for the signs of usage constantly. Cocaine is sneaky.

Be prepared to initially be hated for all of your efforts. But look past that and realize that that is the addiction talking, not the person. Eventually they will thank you, and you will have saved years of suffering, if not death.

If this person is in the early stages of usage you have one big advantage - they have not yet built a large cash of suppliers, so if you are going to help do it soon.

Good luck Brandon