depressed updated

[Blazer06]

I decided to make a new thread to update my situation. I am better now, because of a talk to somebody (online friend ... go figure), and you guys. I am no longer at immediate risk of suicide... and i can look at sam without the immense pain i had been feeling. I guess reading about the "brainwashed kids is bad" thread, made me see that i need to live to stop things like that, and help stop the downfall of society.

a quote from my middle school history teacher keeps coming into my head

you are dealing with a lot of things at your age. you've relized things that took me 50 years to see.

i think i need to live so i can be somebody. so i can make a difference. i guess im kinda optimistic all of a sudden. im worried about how long it will last and the recoil from it though...

in realation to my "I think ive got it figured out" thread, mabye thats why im starting to feel better. im starting to trust myself, and to believe in myself.


Blaze

[MrYogi]

few years from now you'll look back and feel that this was a stupid phase of life. hang in there.

Glad you are doing fine now

[Mickwish]

Sometimes we need to look outside of our own situation to get a better perspective. And then move in a direction which is for the benefit of others rather than ourselves.

Keep focusing on others, Blaze, and it will help keep you grounded in reality, IMO.

Happy Christmas!

Cheers
Mick

[Blazer06]

WOW that was weird. i didnt realize that changeing your email required you to authorize it and stuff. ack.

anyways... i dont usually like christmas because i see it as a waste of time.

but hey thats me...

hmm ill keep that stuff in mind.


Blaze

[Angela]

I'm so glad you're feeling better!!!

What Mick said about focusing on others is so true! The most you can ever do for yourself is to do the best you can for others--it's a win win situation. If you look at Christmas as another opportunity to do nice things for other people--family, friends, strangers--(and I don't mean primarily buying stuff!), then it won't seem like such a waste of time. Even just smiling at people on the street is a good deed; the smiles help you feel better about life, and you can change the mood of someone else's whole day just by smiling at them!

This doesn't mean that you don't ever think about yourself! As my husband always points out to me, "You can't help others if you don't take care of yourself." So eat well, get plenty of rest, develop your interests, and...(sorry, I'm slipping into my "mom" mode!!)

You will have ups and downs your whole life; but as MrYogi said, as you get older, you'll get more perspective on them.

Thanks for letting us know how you're doing!

im starting to trust myself, and to believe in myself.

Excellent news, blaze. Quite happy to hear this good news.

Always try to remember: the breakthrough happens if you persevere.

*Agreed that Mick has very wise advice.

[dbuck1031]

Hey guy, I'm new here, so take this how you want it.

When I was in High School, I met this girl, she was GREAT, good looking (very), funny, and all that. She was two years older than I was, but for some reason we hit it off. We dated for two years, I graduated, joined the Navy. We got married my first year in the service on Christmas Eve while I was home on leave, about to be sent overseas to Iraq. She committed suicide on Dec 20th the following year, the funeral services were held on our one year wedding anniversary. I am now 32 years old (almost 33), re-married to a beautiful woman, who had two boys from a previous marraige. I have a kick arse job, and I have made a pretty good life for myself. But, in the back of my head every so often, the what if's come calling. I missed her SO bad. I knew for a fact that I would NEVER be able to trust anyone again, and so for the most part I stayed single. I went through life teetering on the edge of downright despising her for what she did, to almost following in her footsteps on several occasions. I am sure glad I waited around.

Now, here's what I have to say. A VERY good buddy of mine in the service told me this, and it helped me, if it helps you great, if not, that's okay too:

You want to Kill yourself? That's okay. But do yourself a favor, sleep on it. Wake up the next day, and if you think about it again, and you still want to kill yourself, sleep on it.....if life is SO hard and SO crappy, what's ONE MORE miserable day going to mean? And you'll realize that one day, you don't wake up thinking the same way.

This is the only game in town man. We only get one shot at this particular life. What's afterward? Who knows, but I'd rather wait to get the surprise, than force it all at once. Hang in there, and the only people who get hurt from suicide, are the survivors.

[RedFury]

Good words from a new member, Welcome!

Glad to see you have found a meaning in life for yourself.

I had a friend in the Military that I used to argue with all the time about controversial subjects...one of them was abortion. He felt that it was better to abort a kid that was going to grow up in a bad situation than to let it grow up.

My argument to that was that sometimes we need people that have grown through hard times....some of the brightest, smartest, most respected and most successful people are that way because they found a way to pull themselves up and find something to live for. What if, knowing that they would suffer strife in their lives, we snuffed them out before they got a chance to prove us wrong?

Lots of important people in history, and people out there right now went through the same things and worse.

I think you have something deep down that is going to lead you to a purposeful life, filled with meaning. You've got conviction....something a lot of people lack.

Anyway, that's the end of another Redfury writing session

[Mike]

Great news Blaze. I sent you an e-mail.

[JacobM5727]

glad youre alright