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Old 12-08-2003, 11:20 AM   #1 (permalink)
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George"W" and the Queen

At Heathrow Airport, a 300-foot long red carpet streches out to Air Force One and President Bush strides to a warm but digified hand shake from Queen Elizabeth II.
They ride in a silver 1934 Bentley limousine to the edge of central London where they then board an open 17th sentury coach pulled by six magnificent white, matching horses. They ride toward Buckingham Palace, each looking sideways and waving to the thousands of cheering Brits. So far everything is going well.
Suddenly the right rear horse lets fly with the most horrendous, earth-shaking, eye stinging, acrid blast of flatulance ever heard in the British Empire. So powerful, that it shakes the coach.
uncomfortable, but under control, the two Didnitaries of State do their best to ignore the incident. But embarrassed, the Queen decides it's impossible to ignore it. "Mr. President, please accept my regrets. I'm sure you understand that there are some things not even a Queen can control." Ever the Texas gentleman, the President replies, "Your Majesty, please don't give the matter another thought." "You know, if you hadn't said something, I would have thought it was one of the horses."

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Old 12-08-2003, 12:37 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Which one isn't the horse?
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Old 12-08-2003, 01:20 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Actually, ole Georges first visit to meet the Queen was very similar:

While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people.

He asks how she knows if they're intelligent. "I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate."

She phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister, please answer this question: Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?" Blair immediately responds, "It's me, Your Highness." "Correct. Thank you and good-bye," says the Queen.

She hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?"

"Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"

Upon returning to Washington, he decides he'd better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. He summons Jesse Helms to the White House and says, "Senator Helms, I wonder if you can answer a question for me."

"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?"

"Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Helms hems and haws and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to you?" Bush agrees, and Helms leaves.

He immediately calls a meeting of other senior Republican senators.

They puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Helms calls Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his problem:

"Now lookee here, boy, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Powell growls, "It's me, of course, you dumb cracker."

Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the White House and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's Colin Powell!"

Bush shakes his head in disgust. "Wrong, you dummy, it's Tony Blair!"
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Old 12-08-2003, 02:38 PM   #4 (permalink)
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haha
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Old 12-09-2003, 09:31 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Funny.
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