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Old 12-04-2003, 04:09 PM   #1 (permalink)
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An old friend has died....

A SPECIAL OBITUARY

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend by the name of Common Sense who has been with us for many years.

No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valued lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, and that life isn't always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies, like don't spend more than you earn, and reliable parenting strategies like adults, not kids, are in charge.

His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned, but overbearing regulations, were set in place:
- Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate
- Teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch
- And a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student, but could not inform the
parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Finally, Common sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, spilled it in her lap, and was awarded a huge settlement.


Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, and by his wife, Discretion, his daughter, Responsibility, and his son, Reason.


He is survived by two stepbrothers, My Rights and Ima Whiner.


Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

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Old 12-04-2003, 04:10 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I thought the ol' man passed away right after the 2000 elections.
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Old 12-04-2003, 04:14 PM   #3 (permalink)
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he had already been longgggggg forgotten by then

oh wait, you mean all of Clintons last minute pardons??
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Old 12-04-2003, 04:16 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Good read....
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Old 12-04-2003, 04:18 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by John Prophet
he had already been longgggggg forgotten by then

oh wait, you mean all of Clintons last minute pardons??


Yes. And other events which led to the current incumbent being chosen.
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Old 12-04-2003, 04:22 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Interesting read... but the thread title is in poor taste.
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Old 12-04-2003, 04:28 PM   #7 (permalink)
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lol...and they say IM too serious.

Common sense took a beating when we had to listen to the President of the USA sitting on worldwide tv telling us that getting a blow#$% and sticking a cigar up his little sweety was somehow not considered "sex"...lol. I guess more than common sense took a beating that day.
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Old 12-04-2003, 05:13 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Cute, but it would be apt in almost any time period. I think Voltaire's quote, "Common sense is anything but" fits better.
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Old 12-04-2003, 05:17 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Common sense lost out to lawyers...
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Old 12-04-2003, 05:26 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by The Real Bingo
Common sense lost out to lawyers...
That's because they discovered common dollars.

Bill
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