Words to live by

[korgul]

1. Unlike clothes and shoes, a toothbrush should never be a hand-me-down item.
2. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.
3. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys.
4. Plucking unwanted nose hair is time-consuming work. A cigarette lighter and a small tolerance for pain can accomplish the same goal and save hours. Note: It’s a good idea to keep a bucket of water handy when using this method.

so do you have any

korgul

[Xeroid]

Never argue with a fool. They will only drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

One's OWN truck keys.

Bah, ha, ha, ha!

Mike

[Bob The Great]

Don't try applying off to your face while smoking a cigerate

When in doubt, don't!

[FreakyOCR]

Don't pick your nose and flick boogers around somebody elses house... this drives me nutz......

[Knothead]

"Mother-in-law is like a seed...
you don't need it, but it comes with the tomato."

Sorry, I'll try to come up with something good later!

[SecretNinja999]

"Drop your panties Sir William, I cannot wait 'till lunchtime."

Classic line from Monty Python's Dirty Hungarian Phrasebook sketch. I love it.

[markuy06]

Don't fix it if it ain't broke
if you can't fix it right don't try to.
man wannabe a Tim The Tool Man ha ha ha
Don't buy it unless you need it. lol
and last but not leest
Change your underwear before you go you might get in an accident.

[ocit]

keep napkins in your glove box.
dont get more than one soda refill on a long trip.
you may swim right after you eat but dont eat while you swim.
lotsa beer. a pool, and a roof dont mix

[Jonty]

Sort of related to this topic, here's a web site I stumbled on yesterday when I was trying to find something completely different!

http://www.righteousblues.co.uk/index.htm

btw, help tip #3 is, erm, fairly unusual.