Where are all the good girls???

[Galaxy_EGS]

Solid, anxiety just blocks your achievements. The more anxious you get, the less likely you are to achieve.

When I stopped looking for the right woman for me, she found me. We are now married and have a cute little daughter.

Keep your chin up.

[Solid Snake]

Thanks, good advice.

[Solid Snake]

When I stopped looking for the right woman for me, she found me. We are now married and have a cute little daughter.

How did she find you? How "one-way" was it exactly?

[originel]

some wise words in here...it's been said several times already, but i must agree as well. don't go actively looking for a girl. I tried for almost 3 years with no luck...then, when i wasn't expecting it, my girlfriend and i got together and things have been amazing ever since.

i don't think he really means "one-way" as in playing hard to get...the hardest part is (IMO) not playing. just let things happen. As it's been said before, girls can sense a "sniffer". I would like to add that trying not to try still falls under the same category.

It sucks being in your position, i think just about every guy here has been there...in times like this your friends are your best asset...and you've got plenty here.

[Solid Snake]

I see now. Thanks for the advice, seems easy enough to follow.

[SeanC]

Since I've separated from my wife and NOT looking, when I've been out with my friends they've said, This girl checked you out, that girl did and a few have come up to me as well. I even got that when I was married too.

Sean

Love bytes. As opposed to love bites. Or, IOW, love bites.

Feel better soon, Snake

[Solid Snake]

Thanks.

[Thud]

Accept the fact that you can exist on your own. You don't need someone else to complete you. This is important beyond all else.

Yup.

Instead of running around looking for a girl, let the girls come to you, some other people have said this before, but it is startingly true!

Yup.

Ya, what Sha is basically saying is don't be desperate. Don't cling to every word. Don't always be available.

Yup.

Solid, anxiety just blocks your achievements. The more anxious you get, the less likely you are to achieve.

Yup.

The key here, I think, is what AaronJ posted (the first quote). Learn to be independent. Not only is it a better way to live, you'll gain confidence from it. Women like confidence. Combine that with the fact that they (just like men) are often attracted to things they feel are unaccessible to them, and you become that much more "desirable".

I'm not saying to be a boorish jerk, but don't fool yourself into thinking you can't live single. That'll seperate you from the majority of other dudes who while they might be more adept at "the game", are in the end a more needy, weak individual. Or just downright bungholes.

So, if I were you I'd just relax, hang out with some friends, and resist the urge to feel sorry for yourself. By the sound of it, she probably wasn't worth it anyway, and it's better you find out now then a few years down the road. Look at it as time you have regained for yourself.

You'll be amazed at who you meet when you're not really looking.

Originally posted by Solid Snake

• 1. She was pretty much everything I wanted but thought I couldn't have.
  
  2. Waiting was hard but I went through with it because to me, she was the answer to all that was missing in my life.
  
  3. She led me on because I made her feel good, made her feel loved.
  
  4. Thinking about girls and where the good ones are out there makes me feel depressed. As I grow older, I think all the good girls are taken.
  
  5. I'm fairly inexperienced with girls so I limit myself to girls with "low-mileage".
  
  6. On one hand I want to find my girl before she disappears, on the other I feel too hurt to start something new.

1. Why would you think that? Is she really what you want? Or have you fell victim to the media's version of the perfect woman?
That's part of the problem. Why did you think you couldn't have her? Was she too beautiful, too fancy, too intelligent, too educated, to rich?
Too much out of your league? I
f you feel that way about someone in the beginning, it seems you think they are better than you, or you're judging them and deeming them wonderful on stuff that doesn't even matter.
How can you have a relationship with someone that you feel deep down inside is better than you?
(BTW low self esteem is a big turnoff for girls, if you don't have faith in you and confidence in yourself how can she?)

2. No one is the answer to all that was missing in your life.
Can you imagine how tough it is on the woman that is all that was missing in your life? What a responsibility!
Instead of having a partner to share she, is stuck being responsible for dealing with your emotions and emotional growth?
That's much to much of a burden to heap on anyone.
BTW, it can be very covert, and you not even realize you're doing it, but it sucks your partner dry.

3. "She led me on because I made her feel good, made her feel loved"
Are those the words she used? led you on? Or did you add led me on? Sounds like she developed a deep friendship with you, but the romance sparks just never happened like they needed to happen.
She made you feel loved and feel good too, but friendship was your relationship.
She wanted you as a friend and yes she was selfish perhaps by not telling you sooner, but she enjoyed talking to you and cared for you and was stuck,
she didn't know how to tell you that, and she waited too long because she didn't want to hurt you.
Ya know making someone feel loved and cherished is why I personally think we are here.
No other reason, our life is rich and has been worthwhile when others think back about us and the time we crossed their paths
and the kindness and positive influence we had on their lives.
For most of us it only happens a few times.

4. Why does it make you depressed?
Where are the good ones? Where did they go?
SS, aren't you about 19? How could the good ones be taken?

5. Limiting yourself to what you consider low mileage is probably really doing your self a disservice.
Everyone has heard men complain that women don't want nice guys. Right?
Well, you might be surprised how many high mileage girls are craving a low mileage guy.
And you know what? THEY WILL APPRECIATE YOU!!!!
They've been around and know what kind of creeps are out there, the jerks that don't care anything about them and say anything, till they get what they want through deceit then dispose of her.
Actually most high mileage girls get that way because they feel a lot like you do about themselves. (and some don't realize it for a while)
Lonely, perhaps lacking when they compare themselves to other girls and when a good looking guy schmoozes in, she melts because she needs to be loved. Needy btw is not good.

6. Your girl is not going to disappear. She may not even be ready for you yet.
She may still be doing some growing and maturing so she will be the perfect mate.
But you have some work to do too. You are not even close to being ready you have to get grounded and learn to fill your own emotional needs.
Be satisfied with yourself. Make yourself whole (at least 90% )
You want a girl that's Smart, sweet, cute, stable.
Why wouldn't your perfect mate want the same?
You have to get in tuned with your self and find who you are and be happy with yourself first.

Chuckiechan said,
I suggest you join some on campus clubs and organizations. Anything you can do to take your mind off your problems, and when you aren't looking your dream girl will find you!

BINGO!!!!!
But I give it a Bingo for a little different reason... You need to learn to socialize and develop some interests.
Interacting socially with people in that kind of group environment will help you learn valuable social skills.
You might meet someone you might not. But get out, expand yourself and force yourself to operate past your shyness.
You'll be more interesting and wouldn't it be great to find a girl with interests the same as your interests?

And for goodness sakes, ignore all these guys babbling about MAINTENANCE!
Bet you dollars to donuts they went for the media's version of the perfect woman
and got something they thought looked good without thinking about the long run.

I think you're a real kinda guy. Look for someone that you click with first.
Looks 2nd.
Funny, I always ignored pretty boys, yet I never loved someone, that when I looked at them I didn't think they were beautiful.
Know what I mean?
That's the kind of beauty lasts a lifetime, with only love and devotion for maintenance.

oh my gosh! the sun is up and I haven't even asked the question I can in this morning to ask!

PS
Oh and if my advice is worthless no problem!
I have one other piece that is valuable!!
If you happen to be drying walnuts on a sheet of plywood and it's blocking the path from the back door to the drive way...
Do not, I repeat DO NOT look at it and think,
OK, if I just step right there and be verwy verwy careful,
I can walk on top of the walnuts.
(I'm lucky I didn't break my leg, I just looked at it in mid air and saw it was bent the wrong way but didn't have time to fix it.