suicide is painless

[draboo]

only for the deceased victim. the family/friends/friends family/ go thru hell. i am experiencing this since yesterday.

one of my sons best friends killed himself early yesterday morning.
jamie did it in front of his wife and two of the (i think) 4 kids. the two children who saw it were step children,i believe.

we had 3 out of 4 of our grandkids here last nite while my son and his wife were with the family. they are with them again today.
my oldest grandson (11y/o) is confused about all of this. i can tell just by the look on his face.

my son went to the funeral home and saw his friend last nite. i was really suprised he did that. he said he went because he couldnt believe jamie was gone. my son mentioned to his wife that he couldnt recognize jamie when he saw him at the funeral home.

31 years old. pleasant to be around. good kid. tore out and removed all the carpeting in our house and reinstalled it in his mobile home. just saw him and his wife at Applebees last week having dinner. had a hard upbringing but seemed to be fine on the outside.

and now his troubles are over,but to others,they are just beginning.

i am experiencing some of surreals spontaneous tears as i write this. i really dont understand it,either.

when i dont have control over a situation that happens(bad ones anyway) i demand that God give me an explanation. and i never get it. its frustrating.

years ago,i would be out on a 4 day drunk dealing with something like this. and not a tear would get shed.

now,finally,i have realize that tears DO cleanse my soul. when my father died when i was 9,i was told my my reletives that"well,bradley you are the man of the house now,and you have to take care of your mother." of course, i was brought up that "real men dont cry" bullsh*t.

not dealing with grief properly damn near killed me.

now,i just cry if the urge comes. and its here now.

thanks for listening. i m just as confused (if not more)about this as my grandchildren.


brad

[shahani]

Life is so complex and tragic at times. Makes us wonder about God's intentions. Specially when this kind of thing happens to younger people.

For me, small children, killed in accidents, wars, .... is the most tragic facet of human existence.

[M_Six]

Man, that's rough. Try to find solace in your family. Spend as much time as possible with them.

[Atomic Rooster]

Wow. I don't know what to say. I feel for you and understand where your coming from. There's no rhyme nor reason why things like that happen. That's terrible that the kids had to witness something like that. I hope they get the proper help needed to get them through this.

[Droppyale]

[originel]

wow...my deepest of sympathies.

I know what you're going through...one of my friends good family friend killed himself at the age of 17. It really shook them up for a while. I can't even imagine how the boy's parents must have felt. Also, the paramedic who answered the call is a member of the church my mom works at and he was soo shooken up by it he couldn't go to work for a week. It's very very sad...and it affects so many people.

I agree, that whole men don't cry thing is really really stupid. Cry as much as you need my friend. And i can only pray that your confusion will fade in time.

[tmx468]

What can be said, but you are in my thoughts and prayers.

All the best.

[cowboybooter]

That's not nice, Brad, but you will get through it!

My thoughts are with you and yours!



CBB

[U-96]

bad news draboo, but there is a good crowd here. it often helps to share with friends you don't know, if you get my meaning.

my thoughts are with you, your family and friends.

[RedFury]

Wow, sounds like a guy like myself. Makes a person wonder what came over him to do a thing like this. Really. I'm not exactly living the way I thought I would...in a trailer, used carpeting is an upgrade to what I've got, 2 used cars that simply run, no more, no less. A wife and 2 kids and feeling like my financial house is barely holding up.

Yet, I see a light at the end of the tunnel. I know that I can change my situation and that even if it doesn't turn out the way I planned, I can make it better than it seems. I'm usually a pretty good optimist. Perhaps your sons friend "looked" into his future and couldn't handle what he saw, or felt that if he weren't around that his family would be better off for whatever reason.

I feel for ya Draboo. Not only do you have to deal with the pain and sadness, but you find yourself searching for an answer that you will never likely discover, which makes it all that more tragic