Problems with the neighbors?

[ablang]

I was just wondering if it was just me, or does anyone else have problems with the neighbor(s)?

I used to be on friendly terms with this one neighbor, who in the summer, would often invite me over for barbecues and PPVs with his other neighbors and family.

That stopped when it got cold. I guess his dumb 5-YO son got too chummy with me b/c I let him borrow my N64 system & 1 game at a time. This kid would often come over and bother me to borrow yet another game. Worse yet, he would often kick the steel security door, garage door, or ring the doorbell multiple times when he knew I was home.

After a few months of this abuse, I wrote a letter to his father and posted it on his door to tell him to tell his kid to not come over anymore. The dad called me and got defensive about his son (all kids are angels, right?) and basically downplayed everything b/c of the kid's age. He told me the kid wouldn't come over. He called me 10 min later and told me never to come over to his house. Fair enough as long as I don't see the kid anymore.

Sometimes I think I would've been better off if I had kept to myself in the 1st place and never bothered to be friendly to these people. It's kind of like that old saying "don't ____ where you eat". In other words, be careful of your neighbors and your co-workers b/c you will see them all the time. Lesson learned.

[brandon184]

I love my neighbours on both sides. They work all day, keep it quiet when they come home and don't pester me beyond handing out the obligatory "Hello!" ..

It wasn't quite that way as a kid.. Especially when I was quite young.. my parents hated pretty much all of our neighbours, wherever we lived. And of course, if you don't follow along with the parents and hate the neighbours, too - you slowly become the family outcast. Of course, it starts out with fewer gifts at Christmas time, but then the food supply is cut off and you're served bread and water under the door of the boiler room in the basement. j/k

[Angela]

I go to great lengths to be friendly with all my neighbors, and I'm actually friends with some of them. With neighbors, it is important to be very, very tolerant, and pick your discussions carefully. Notice I said "discussions", not "fights". Never gossip with one neighbor about another, and don't let the friendship get too personal.

If neighbor 'A' complains to me about neighbor 'B', I just listen politely until I'm able to say something like "Gosh, I get along really well with them", etc. A few of those sort of comments and the person gets the hint and quits complaining to you about neighbor 'B', or any other neighbor. As a consequence of my actions, I have lived in my home for 23 years and never had a real problem with any neighbor.

Oh sure, I've put up with things I didn't like, as I'm sure they have! I do think you catch more flies with honey than vinegar, however. I think if you go out of your way to be a good neighbor, most people will respond in kind.

Ablang--
I'm sorry you had such a bad experience, but don't let that turn you off to knowing your neighbors!

I'm assuming you talked with the child about his behavior more than once before you resorted to the letter.

It would have been better if you had, in a very friendly and tolerant fashion, gone over and talked with the father in person. You could have come up with some reason why the child should not come over all the time that was not a direct criticism of the child--you know, you're too busy or something, etc. You could have even apologized for not being available, but hey, that's just the way it is! That way, his father would not feel that you were attacking his child and indirectly criticizing him (the father) for being a bad parent.

And one thing is certainly true: a five year old is not going to understand boundries without being taught--in fact, no one is!

[RayH]

Everybody's kid is an angel. But you should have kept on the neighbor to teach his kid manners.

The kids in the house across the street were good kids. They just didn't sometimes see what they were doing, like on the Fourth of July sitting on their stoop and firing rockets towards my house. Instead of getting mad, I just invited them to sit on my stoop and fire the rockets towards their house. They fired one rocket towards their house and stopped. They learned what they were doing.