My newspaper article?

[trueman]

Our local newspaper has a business of the week section and I was thinking of putting in the followng article. I am wondering what your opinions are on it? (I have chaned the name and numbers as i don't feel comfortable having that info on a forum.)


joe from Joes Computers has lived and worked in smallville for the past 14 years.
Joe’s computer experience started as a hobby and gradually grew into the servicing and repairing of friends and work colleagues computers, and has now become a reliable part-time computer business catering to the home and small business users of Smallville.
Joe has also studied the Microsoft A+ certificate.

joes Computers can solve all kinds of computer problems from repairing faulty hardware, peripherals, and even monitors, to fixing software and operating system bugs and glitches. They can detect and remove Viruses, Trojan horses and Spyware from your computer, which can allow hackers to gain access to your valuable data and other personnel information. And also speed up your computer by performing various tweaks and removing unwanted junk from Windows.

Joes Computers can also retrieve lost data such as that 20 page report you accidentally deleted.
They can perform upgrades to your current system and can install and setup new peripherals such as CD burners, dvd drives, printers, modems etc and install and configure new programs or setup the internet and e-mail. They can also advise the new buyer on what system you may require to suit your needs, and can source a range of quality computer systems at affordable prices.

Joes Computers also provide affordable tutoring of common software applications such as their Windows or MS Office apps for families/small business or Internet and e-mail for families/small business where they can teach the whole family how to surf the net, use search engines and send and receive e-mails.
Joes Computers also provide Web design from a simple online photo album to share with family and friends or can design a custom website for your business and provide domain name registration and hosting solutions.
Most repairs can be done onsite and they don’t charge a call out fee, however for more extensive problems your computer will be taken back to the workshop and usually returned the next day.

Joes Computers can be contacted on mobile:555 5545

Or e-mail Joe@dodo.com.au

[jkrohn]

Microsoft A+ certificate.

Hmmm, COMPTIA is the one who does A+, not MS. At least AFAIK

Jkrohn

[trueman]

CompTIA do the testing but its called the "Microsoft A+ Certificate".

[Pexster]

I wouldn't say "has studied . . . the certificate." Makes it sound as if you gave a half-hearted attempt, but didn't really finish. If you don't have it, don't mention it, IMO. Otherwise, I think it reads very well! Good luck!

[zen]

Originally posted by trueman
CompTIA do the testing but its called the "Microsoft A+ Certificate".

I'm looking at my A+ certification card right now and it makes no mention of Microsoft whatsoever. And why would it? A+ is not about software really, but for the most part about hardware.

[trueman]

Well on the front cover of the e-book training guide it says at the top "Mircosoft A+ certificate" Don't ask me why, I don't know. Perhaps I will change the advert to just say A+ Certificate then.

[trueman]

Originally posted by Pexster
I wouldn't say "has studied . . . the certificate." Makes it sound as if you gave a half-hearted attempt, but didn't really finish. If you don't have it, don't mention it, IMO. Otherwise, I think it reads very well! Good luck!

Thanks for your comments and advice Pexster. I agree with you on the A+ so I will remove it from the advert.

Thanks again.

[John Prophet]

Dont start every paragraph with "joes computers" or "joe". Find other ways to keep it moving without it being like a straight out list.

[Mickwish]

Originally posted by trueman
Or e-mail Joe@dodo.com.au

Reads Ok to me, although JP does have a point about sounding like an ad if it starts with the biz name every time. By the email, you're Down Under.

By the email, you are Down Under. Care to share where? PM me if you want.

Cheers
Mick