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10-22-2003, 02:58 PM
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#1 (permalink)
| | Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 6,533
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Busted for Speeding and Drunk Driving
An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...
>> Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
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>>
>> Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
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>> Older Woman: Oh, I see.
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>> Officer: Can I see your license please?
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>> Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
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>>
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>> Officer: Don't have one?
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>> Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
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>> Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
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>> Older Woman: I can't do that.
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>> Officer: Why not?
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>> Older Woman: I stole this car.
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>> Officer: Stole it?
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>> Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
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>> Officer: You what?
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>> Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
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>> The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car.
A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half! drawn gun.
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>> Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
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>> Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
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>> Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
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>> Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
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>> Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
>> The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is
quite stunned.
>> Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
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>> The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
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>> Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
>>
>> Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too
JP
__________________
"Even a fool is thought to be wise if he is silent"
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10-22-2003, 03:02 PM
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#2 (permalink)
| | Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: San Antonio Texas
Posts: 714
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LOL. That's a good one.
\o/ Billy
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10-22-2003, 03:04 PM
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#3 (permalink)
| | Banned
Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Fort Lee, NJ
Posts: 3,417
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10-22-2003, 03:06 PM
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#4 (permalink)
| | Contributing Editor
Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: CJ,MO:REBEL Base
Posts: 2,169
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Excellent! Here's another joke since were on the topic.
Man: Why did you make my wife so beautiful?
God: So you can love her, my son.
Man: Why did you make my wife such a good cook?
God: So you can love her, my son.
Man: Well, why did you make her so stupid?
God: So she can love you, my son!
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10-22-2003, 03:21 PM
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#5 (permalink)
| | Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Southampton, PA
Posts: 810
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I heard the first one before, but its still funny. Never heard that second one though. LOL, funny stuff. It's simple so simple people can comprehend it. I like that.
__________________
FESTIVUS FOR THE REST OF US!
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10-22-2003, 03:41 PM
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#6 (permalink)
| | Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: South Bay, CA
Posts: 600
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hehehe, good ones. 
I'm relieved, because when I saw this thread title, I thought it was an account of a Community member, and then when I saw the thread poster, I was like, "John! Not YOU!" LOL!  | |
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10-22-2003, 03:44 PM
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#7 (permalink)
| | Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: -----------
Posts: 1,798
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this was posted before...
good one though | |
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10-22-2003, 03:49 PM
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#8 (permalink)
| | Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 6,533
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Hehe, I used that title to sort of "market" the thread . I hate to use cheap sensationalistic headlines like that....I hope Im not weakening! lol.
JP
__________________
"Even a fool is thought to be wise if he is silent"
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10-22-2003, 03:56 PM
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#9 (permalink)
| | Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: In a Cali Valley
Posts: 7,817
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A very good one.  | |
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10-22-2003, 04:01 PM
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#10 (permalink)
| | Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Ft. Walton Beach, FL
Posts: 4,056
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Thanks JP...
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