Red Necks

[Uncle Bob]

What do you call 32 Red necks in one room?

A full set of teeth.

[RedFury]

LOL!

[shahani]

You might be a redneck if:

Your best coon hound gets a birthday present and your wife doesn’t.

[shahani]

Your idea of a romantic evening is sharing the same spit cup with your girlfriend at a tractor pull.

[shahani]

You think a hard drive is driving more than one hour.

[shahani]

You think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.

[shahani]

You quit your job because deer season’s fixin’ to start.

You cain’t marry your sweetheart because there is a law against it.

You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.

[Uncle Bob]

You might be a redneck if your family doesn't branch out.

[shahani]

You’ve ever changed the numbers on your house so the police can’t find you.

You’ve ever relieved yourself from a moving vehicle.

You call your boss “dude.”

Your toothbrush is a hand-me-down.

You think virgin wool comes from ugly sheep.

You think people who have electricity are uppity.

Your two best friends are named Skeeter and Possum.

[shahani]

Your car insurance deductible is higher than the value of your car.

You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

You tell Grandpaw he has something in his teeth and he takes them out to see.

You spit on your own floor.

You throw a beer can out the truck window and your wife shoots it.

For your first anniversary you take your wife to dinner at the Wal-mart snack bar.

Your father is in the same grade you are.