Crazy Analogies

[vass0922]

Ok I was thinking, I've heard some analogies that just make ya roll over laughing.

SO I thought it would be pretty cool to put some up on a webpage

Here are some that I know of, and was hoping you could include some that you know!!

Try not to include the typical "bored as he!!, or hot as he!! " blahblahblah I'm trying to get the more original ones
Those are more similies than analogies!
Hmm I guess I'm putting in some similies..
SO just make sure they're more complex than a typical 3 word one lol

Slower than molasses in winter
Hotter than a half fu**ed fox in a forest fire!
Slower than a snail walking uphill on ice
Slicker than greased owl sh**
Sweating like a wh0r3 (Sorry lol) in church



I can't think of anymore, but you get the point


(mods if this is pushing it too far, just delete it lol)
If you have one that is too bad for here, you can PM me not much offends me trust me lol

[Pshawn5]

hey vass,
i thought you were driving up to see your wife for new years?

[vass0922]

leaving tuesday
Not sure if I"m gonna leave after work monday night (around midnight) or get 2 hours of sleep before driving up. Unfortunatley I live really close to Wash DC so I gotta wake up crazy early to beat the traffic (typically leave at 5am). However seeing as I get out of work at midnight or so, then 45 min drive home ... an hour or more to get to sleep. thats close to 3 am already

SO thinking I"m just gonna start driving after work and probably crash out at a truck stop for a few hours in PA or something

stupid traffic lol
If I dont leave really early that'll probably add another hour or two to an already 15 hour drive!

No thanks

And that became 4 hours getting across TO and heading for maritimes- Traffic - gotta love it. wiz

[ocit]

Colder than a well digger's ass.
Slower Than a commodor.
sicker than a student during finals

just a few

[vass0922]

I'd forgot about that colder one! Thanks! keep 'em comin'!!

[ocit]

The Worst Analogies

These are so bad theyre funny

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease

The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can

She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again

[Daft_Ghosty]

Slicker then snott on a door knob..

Dumber then a bump on a log..

That boy is as smart as a 2 toed pidgin

[Target]

1) Thats about as useless as **** on a boar.

2) Slower than a turtle running through peanut butter.

3) Hotter than the hinges of hell.

4) As queer as a three-dollar bill.



So few I could think of at the moment.....

[FreakyOCR]

OH Man those are SO FUNNY!!!

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free