Having served the farm well for several years, the rooster, due for retirement from his farm 'duties', is replaced by a younger one to impregnate the hens; but the old rooster is kept for his years of good service. The old rooster decides to lay down a few ground rules:
'Here's the deal,' he says to the new arrival, 'you can have all the hens in the run, but just let me have those two old ones in the corner.'
'No way,' says the young ****, 'you're past it, get out of here, these hens are mine.'
'Okay then,' says the elder 'I'll race you around the run, whoever comes first gets to keep all the hens.'
'You're on,' replies the young gun, 'and I'll even give you a head start!'
So off goes the old rooster and a few seconds after, the young rooster follows. He's just about to catch the old timer when BOOM!!! -- the young rooster falls dead to the ground.
'Darn,' says the farmer, stroking his shotgun 'third queer rooster I've had this week...'
heres another:
A man named Sam had been in the newspaper business for 25 years when he finally became sick of the stress. So he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Vermont as far from humanity as possible.
Sam sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet. After six months or so of almost total isolation, he's finishing dinner when someone knocks on his door... He opens it and there is a big, bearded Vermonter standing there.
'Name's Enoch... Your neighbor from four miles over the ridge... Having a party Saturday... Thought you'd like to come.'
'Great,' says Sam, 'after six months of this I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thanks for inviting me!'
As Enoch is leaving, he stops, 'Gotta warn you though, there's gonna be some
drinkin'.'
'Not a problem. After 25 years in the newspaper business, I can drink with
the best of 'em.'
Again, as he starts to leave Enoch stops. 'More 'n' likely gonna be some
fightin' too.'
Tough crowd, Sam thinks to himself. 'Well, I get along with people. Don't
worry, I'll be there. Thanks again!'
Once again Enoch turns from the door... 'Probly be some wild sex as well.'
'Now that's not a problem,' says Sam, 'Remember I've been alone for six months! I'll definitely be there... By the way, what should I wear?'
Enoch stops in the door one last time and says, 'Whatever you want, just
gonna be the two of us.'
LOL
Linear Mode
