WOW! Did I write this?

[Blazer06]

I just found this on my computer. Going through some old files. Dated 4-24-03.

I read it and though this was something i took off a news site, or the web. Then i saw my name on the bottom.

Even now as i keep re-reading it, i cant believe that i wrote it, yet i remember it was here that i did write it.

I'll tell you why kids do this.

They say he is normal. He's not. They wouldn't talk to him before. He was a reject. His parens weren''t proud of him. EWither that or they didn't show it. He lived a sheltered life because his parents loved him to much. He went to school, and liked that better than home. But even there he was pushed, slap talked, and the like. He bottled his emotions, knowing that he would explode. He began not to care and to contemplate suicide. He tried it, by himself never getting found out. He sunk into the shadows. He had no friends. He had no life.

Then he snapped. He had wlready decide how and why. He now decided when. He assembled and planned for weeks. He surveyed the schedualing of the classes, the best place to kill. He had a chart with which he memorixed where to go and when. he knew when people hung out. He knew where they would try to hide. He knew every escape route, and knew where the furthest of away from his attack was. He knew where the closest was. He memorized this list hundereds of times. He came to school late that day. His body had a cold sweat over it. He set his traps at the exits. He set them at the hallway juctions. Then he fired his first shot, killing no one. He felt the gun kick back, and way afraid. He say the kids running towards him. He aimed and shot. Again he shot. He found this was easy, and the sight of blood made him excited. He shot, shot, and shot. Then he shot again. He looked at the lifeless bodies around him. He became afraid as he heard the helicoptors above him. He didn't know what to do. He saw the girl he once was in love with twiching on the floor from a bullet in her neck. He knelt down beside her and said he was sorry. He lifted the gun to his head and shot a last time.


That is why the "normal" kids do these things. That is what happens.


Blaze

I cant believe that i was really like that, thinking like that, something must of been really wrong with me then...

please re-assure me that im still a little sane...


Blaze

[Mickwish]

I sort of remember that phase you went through, then, Blaze. Angry with the world, and ready to give it all away.

We all have times like that, and tend to express ourselves differently when they happen. It's not the thought of doing something like that that does the most harm, it's actually carrying it out.

Sane? Don't kid yourself. You're as mad as the rest of us, I reckon.

It's interesting to look back and see where we have been, and sometimes, how far we have come, isn't it?

Cheers
Mick

[Gomer]

I said it once, and I'll say it again. I'd be remiss if I didn't

Get some help Blaze... talk to a counselor or someone. The things you are saying are pretty disturbing.

I don't think you are bad for thinking such things, nor do I think you are abnormal. But that you had such thoughts is an indication that something was seriously wrong in your life. It appears you recognize this now. I am not a "professional" so I am not sure what you need to do to get that sort of stuff straight. But I suggest that even now you should discuss this with someone who is trained in handling people who start to feel like that. If you don't do it now, be sure that in the future if you start thinking like that that you talk to someone who can help.

[Prex]

I suggest the AK-47. It's battle tested, proven effective.

[Mickwish]

Internal Server Error
The server encountered an internal error or misconfiguration and was unable to complete your request.
Please contact the server administrator, webmaster@guns.ru and inform them of the time the error occurred, and anything you might have done that may have caused the error.

More information about this error may be available in the server error log.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Apache/1.3.27 Server at kalashnikov.guns.ru Port 80

I doubt that is an effective weapon, really.

Cheers
Mick

[no1_vern]

I think you are sane. But you must be careful.

Everyone goes through life in many different ways. Learning and reacting to the world as THAT PERSON feels at that time. Many people have serious problems when they are teenagers. It is a very difficult time when your body is bouncing with changes. A lot of thoughts come and go, most of it harmless fantasy, everything from being with the most beautiful girl to killing our friends who has delt us a slight. You must recognise what is fantasy, and what might become true in this world and deal with it in an appropriate manner. NOT just based on how you feel at this moment.

REMEMBER everyone who is(was) in your school is going through the same changes as you are right now, they feel the same things, and can be harmed as easily you are. Always remember to be true to yourself, do not make hasty decisions that will affect your life. Remember that everyone is an individual person completely separate from yourself and incalculably valuable to the world as a whole. Even(especially) YOU.

What may seem was extrememly relevent to you last year is probably just a distant memory today. Just remember that we all are here and we will be glad to help in any way we can.

Do you believe you can handle the things that are going through your life right now? If yes, keep on trucking!

If you dont know or if you dont think you can, then I agree that you should speak to someone who has experiece with these things. But first start with your parents, asking for their help. If you dont feel you can share with them, try your church, asking your minister/reverend etc. Do you have a person you know whom you look up to and respect? If your Are willing to confide in them, just ask them for a little guidance. I believe if they are worthy they will gladly help you sort your problems. Also you can speak with your local mental health office. They have many programs for normal people who have some problem that they believe they cant handle. O and yes, they do have experience and can guide you.

I am out of suggestions, No I dont think your insane, just maybe knocked off center for a little while by our world as it is today. You can become centered again, believing in what is good and true in this world. Dont give up before your life has started(starts at 40 by the way).

Good luck.

Vern

[George VII]

AAAAAAh! THE PICKLES ARE COMING!!!!!

[shawshank62]

I suggest the AK-47. It's battle tested, proven effective.

post your crap elsewhere, that doesnt help anything.

[Blazer06]

hey, some of you i believe got the wrong impression. that is how i was, but i am no longer like that..... well not quite anyways. i think too much about girls n' computers to think about anything like that.


Blaze

[RedFury]

hey, some of you i believe got the wrong impression. that is how i was, but i am no longer like that..... well not quite anyways. i think too much about girls n' computers to think about anything like that.

Oh, you definetely have got your head on straight now!

Blaze, you are just fine my friend. Now just don't let us read anything in the newspapers about you ( unless it's good )