Ma. Drivers

[SPEEDO]

BASIC RULES FOR DRIVING IN MASSACHUSETTS

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Massachusetts driver never uses them.

2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.

4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will result in you being rear-ended.

5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork, especially someone from NH. With no-fault insurance the other guy doesn't have anything to lose.

6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.

7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to prepare people entering the highway.

8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a suggestion and are apparently not enforceable in Massachusetts during rush hour.

9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a Massachusetts driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

10. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire. This is seen as a sign of respect for the victim.

11. Learn to swerve abruptly. Massachusetts is the home of high-speed slalom driving like the Rt. 128 Speedway, thanks to the State Highway Department, which puts pot-holes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them alert.

12. It is traditional in Massachusetts to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light turns green.

13. Remember that the goal of every Massachusetts driver is to get there first by whatever means necessary.

14. In Massachusetts, 'flipping someone the bird' is considered a polite salute. This gesture should always be returned.

THANK YOU & HAVE A SAFE JOURNEY

[SeanC]

Hilarious!!

It applies to places other then Massachusetts. Like Toronto Canada and all cities around it.

Sean

[M_Six]

BASIC RULES FOR DRIVING IN CENTRAL ILLINOIS

1. Left lane is for lefties, right lane is for righties.

2. If you're not sure how fast to drive, find someone in the next lane driving slowly and drive along beside them.

3. Slow to a crawl at green lights. It prevents your having to slow quickly at the imminent yellow light.

4. Right on red after intense contemplation.

5. At a stop sign, spell the word "Stop" and then define it before proceeding.

6. When approaching a sign that reads "Right Lane Closed - 3 Miles", move over immediately and slow to a crawl.

7. Stop to gawk at ANY vehicle off to the side ONLY if there's a vehicle with flashing lights nearby.

8. Posted speed limits are only suggestions. Prudent drivers stay well below them.

[Mike]

Massachusetts definetely has some good drivers. Especially around the Big Dig in Boston.

[Blazer06]

My sister (MA driver) passed a school bus on the wrong side of the rode (passing zone though).................going 95 MPH!! In a 1989 Dodge Ramcharger with bad brakes...... it was over 85 since thats as high as the speedometor goes.

One guy pulled in front of me and my friend on the highway where both cars were going about 75. There was about an inch of space between his rear bumper, and our front bumber. I could see him in HIS rea-view mirror.

Yep here in mass were real good drivers!


Blaze