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Old 08-12-2003, 09:30 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Microsoft Announces Improved BSOD

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Microsoft Announces Improved BSOD

In a surprise announcement today, Microsoft President Steve
Balmer revealed that the Redmond based company will allow
computer resellers and end-users to customize the appearance of
the Blue Screen of Death (abbreviated BSOD), the screen that
displays when the Windows operating system crashes.

The move comes as the result of numerous focus groups and
customer surveys done by Microsoft. Thousands of Microsoft
customers were asked, "What do you spend the most time doing on
your computer?"

A surprising number of respondents said, "Staring at a Blue
Screen of Death". At 54 percent, it was the top answer, beating
the second place answer "Downloading XXX Scans" by an easy 12
points.

"We immediately recognized this as a great opportunity for
ourselves, our channel partners, and especially our customers,"
explained the excited Balmer to a room full of reporters.

Immense video displays were used to show images of the new
customizable BSOD screen side-by-side with the older static
version. Users can select from a collection of "BSOD Themes,"
allowing them to instead have a Mauve Screen of Death or even a
Paisley Screen of Death. Graphics and multimedia content can now
be incorporated into the screen, making the BSOD the perfect
conduit for delivering product information and entertainment to
Windows users.

The Blue Screen of Death is by far the most recognized feature of
the Windows (tm) operating system, and as a result, Microsoft has
historically insisted on total control over its look-and-feel.
This recent departure from that policy reflects Microsoft's
recognition of the Windows desktop itself as the "ultimate
information portal." By default, the new BSOD will be configured
to show a random selection of Microsoft product information
whenever the system crashes. Microsoft channel partners can
negotiate with Microsoft for the right to customize the BSOD on
systems they ship.

Major computer resellers such as Compaq, Gateway, and Dell are
already lining up for premier placement on the new and improved
BSOD.

Balmer concluded by getting a dig in against the Open Source
Community. "This just goes to show that Microsoft continues to
innovate at a much faster pace than open source. I have yet to
see any evidence that Linux even has a BSOD, let alone a
customizable one."


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Old 08-12-2003, 09:34 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Too funny!
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Old 08-12-2003, 09:34 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Hey! Cool move, M$!!

I wanna nice relaxing, peaceful beach scene on my BSOD. Will help to defray tempers and keep everyone calm.

Definitely wouldn't suggest a smiling Bull Gates pic, though. Too many smashed monitor screens as a result.



Nice find, Blaze!

You can keep us entertained whilst Theo is away!!

Cheers
Mick
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Old 08-12-2003, 09:35 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Old 08-13-2003, 11:45 AM   #5 (permalink)
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HAHAHAAAAA!! That reminds me of something. One time I whipped up a very cheesy drawing on MS Paint that said

"Do you want to install virus.exe on your computer so it can delete your hard drive and mess with your refrigerator settings?"

Then there was a fake loading bar drawn at the bottom that read 27% and a "yes" and "no" button. The "yes" button had a poorly drawn mouse over it.

Saved it as the logo.sys file and every time my dad's computer started up it would display instead of "Windows ME". My dad got a good kick out of it. Well, this was back in the day when we only had one computer, and everyone used it. So one day my sister starts up the computer (I think she was 8 or something) and she says "MOMMY! I installed a virus and I didn't have any choice!!"

Priceless.
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Old 08-13-2003, 04:44 PM   #6 (permalink)
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everything is customizable these days. but there goes the acronym BSOD.
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Old 08-13-2003, 06:22 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Nice.
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Old 08-13-2003, 08:53 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Old 08-13-2003, 09:07 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Hmmm.... I'm gonna replace the BSOD with a screenshot of my desktop. Ignorance is bliss!
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