If Linux was a car...

[vass0922]

I checked to see if it was already posted and didn't see much.. I'm sure others have already read it but I hadn't

If Linux was a car

..Sense of Humor required!


M: Hey Pete, Can you help me put a radio in my Debian?

P: You're an Idiot, RTFM!

M: I need more help than that.

P: You're an idiot! I did a Google search. It's in the page referenced by the footnote in the 37th hit. If I could find it, so can you.

GS: (good Samaritan) You need to rebuild the engine to add a radio.

M: Rebuild the engine?

P: You're an idiot!

GS: There's a how-to. It's written for a "Hat", but it's mostly correct except that engine is in the rear. It's translated from German, but they did a pretty good job. It'll tell you to hook the radio to the red and black wires, but since you've got a Debian, there won't be any red and black wires. And you still need to write the radio driver. Don't forget to regrind the camshaft. If you don't, you'll get an error message that you don't have permission to change the tire pressure, but it's the camshaft. You'll need a lot of tools, but you can get them for free. Most of them come with instructions... about 900 pages in all. Read 'em all carefully and understand 'em before you start. Should be able to figure it all out in a couple of months.

[MUCH LATER...]

M: Hey Pete, I didn't get all the stuff I needed to rebuild my engine. Can I borrow your Drake again?

P: The wife has the Drake, but you can borrow the Hat.

M: This is different. Where's the steering wheel?

P: That dashboard was really using a lot of gas. This has what is called a CLI. Just type CTRL-L to go left and CTRL-R to go right.

M: What about the gas and brakes?

P: That's all combined into a single speed number. Just type ps | grep speed. The headings are in Klingon, but the third number is the one you want. Just divide by the speed of light to get meters/second. You'll have to parse it out, calculate the new speed and use the nice function to change the priority of the process. That changes the speed. If you had just read the manpage, I wouldn't have had to tell you all that.

M: Which manpage?....never mind... What if I need to stop in a hurry?

P: Gotcha covered. There's a script for panic stops. Just type PanicStop-3.8.63278665-HAT when=now. It will ask you for a password. Enter the password and hang on cause you're gonna stop real quick. I'm really proud of the deceleration optimization routine. Be careful typing, it's case sensitive. If it gives you a cryptic error message and doesn't stop, it's probably because you forgot to add yourself to the brakes group. It's all in the manpage.

M: Which manpage?....never mind...

[MUCH, MUCH LATER....]

M: I wish I hadn't sold my Gates. At least I could drive it to town and pick up Granny....

P: You're an idiot!....


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Please.. I don't think there's a need to post "If MS was a car, I get that in my inbox every other day and I'm sure most everybody has night terrors of reading it again
Also not looking for windows vs. Linux arguments... its a JOKE

[ShawnD1]

Hmmm that sounds about right. Many Linux people have the "do it yourself" attitude mixed with the "I'm better than you" attitude. You forgot the part where the FreeBSD drives by and both guys wish they had one of those

[originel]

hehe...very funny. at first i thought this was a "if linux were a car, what would it be?" i had an answer and everything. i would say an old 60's chevy impala. you could do whatever you want with it! don;t like the engine? no problem, just put a new one in. don't like GM engines? no problem, put a ford one in. need a new transmission? that old dodge tranny will work fine.

[ShawnD1]

And if Windows were a car, it would be a newish built car with a unibody. Unibody because if you break it, you can't fix it. The only way to get around the problem of the broken unibody is to buy a new one .

[Siliconjunkie]

There's a how-to. It's written for a "Hat", but it's mostly correct except that engine is in the rear. It's translated from German, but they did a pretty good job. It'll tell you to hook the radio to the red and black wires, but since you've got a Debian, there won't be any red and black wires. And you still need to write the radio driver. Don't forget to regrind the camshaft. If you don't, you'll get an error message that you don't have permission to change the tire pressure, but it's the camshaft. You'll need a lot of tools, but you can get them for free. Most of them come with instructions... about 900 pages in all. Read 'em all carefully and understand 'em before you start. Should be able to figure it all out in a couple of months.

I just about fell out of my chair.

originel, thats pretty accurate. Cobble together old parts. j/k

[jon112981]

So damn funny. Can't stop laughing. People in the office are looking at me now though. No one else gets it.

*laughs some more*

I'm so glad people have a sense of humor. You NEED to be able to make fun of yourself for all the dumb things that happen, otherwise life is too serious.

[SeanC]

That is so funny!!! I was laughing so hard.

Sean

[Xeroid]

If windows were a car, a sedan would cost $500,000. If Linux were a car you could drop by the dealer and pick up the same model for free but you'd have to join a helpful forum like this one to figure out how to start the darn thing.

[crouse]

If linux was a car.... hmmmm I'm partial to sports cars....

I think windows would be a snap together lexus ... LOOKS really pretty, but it would start falling apart at 60 mph .... :P

and Linux would be a rocket car that you have to hold on to your a-- and would probably crash it a few times before you asked the experts and learned how to deal with all the power !!

~~ sorry... obviously I need to get some sleep. Can't believe I just typed a post comparing OS's to cars.......

[Siliconjunkie]

Linux has the potental to be a rocket car, would just kinda chug along like other cars till you asked around and found all the buttons.