Impossibilities of Coping

[Quinnylynn]

My mother was diagnosed with a rare lung cancer about 2 months ago and with that diagnosis, I've literally fallen apart. Although she is going through chemo and is taking every possible step to stay positive, I still can't get myself passed the "Why Stage." Why her? It's almost as if I go through my days in a fogged consciousness - moments of complete and total normaly followed by moments of the purest and most painful recognition of what's really happening. Balance is the most impossible feat.
Any help coping?

This probably won't help, but take everything one day at a time. Forget about that future and live for the day. That's how I cope.

Good luck and best wishes to you and your mother.

[Quinnylynn]

Thanks and really, that's all you can do I suppose. But how do you shed the "Why's" -

Best wishes to you as well

[vass0922]

Why are you asking Why?
Do you expect an answer?
I'm gonna guess you won't get any.

My point is, constantly asking yourself Why will do nothing except further confuse and frustrate you searching for an answer that simply doesn't exist..

Its kind of like asking for the meaning of Life..I'm sure there is an answer, but we'll never truely know.

Spend time with your mom, show her smiles and positive thinking. Right now above all else she needs support and people to believe in her that she can beat this. Help her laugh and smile, as laughter is by far the best thing you can do to keep her in good spirits

Take care, and I hope everything works out ok

[Quinnylynn]

Why ask why - I believe that was a commercial once - but yes, a very valid point. I guess it's one of the stages leading to acceptance - "why my mom?" I know that sounds almost childish coming from a 26 year old but I've just had trouble getting past it. The Cancer Diagnosis came out of left field and swallowing the pill has been hard.

But above all, you're right - laughter, time spent together - that's all I have to work off of.

Thanks!

[vass0922]

Not really childish, you've been smacked in the head with a very tough situation... you're just trying to understand.

as Whir said, take things day by day

[Quinnylynn]

Trying to understand - you ain't kidding with that one!
But I'm also trying to stay positive. My mother has continued to amaze me with her strength and attitude. Cancer is a nasty monster - throw a more rare form of it and it makes something so hard, even that much more difficult.

Day by day ....

[Sweet]

if you can spend as much time as possible with your Mom and hug alot, even hold hands, you can deal with the W question later. take every moment you have now to just talk, ask all the questions you can. help her with the needs she has now, even just running to get a glass of water.

The WHY will never go away, but as time slowly passes, you might get fleeting thoughts that make sense. Best wishes to you.