Product Lifecycle FAQs:
Q Why is Microsoft providing customers and partners these Windows Desktop Product Lifecycle Guidelines?
We have been forced by a High Court ruling to tell our customers that they're going to be shafted.
Q How were these guidelines developed?
Ever heard of the phrase about the monkeys and the works of Shakespeare?
Q Do these Windows Desktop Product Lifecycle Guidelines affect how long I can legally use a Microsoft operating system once I’ve licensed it?
Nope, just don't expect any new hardware or software to work unless you buy the latest OS.
Q For Windows desktop operating systems not yet available or still in the Mainstream phase, how should customers and partners estimate the product's lifecycle?
Well, the answer's somewhere between 'pops 'em out like shelling peas' and 'how long's a piece of string'. Who do you think I am? Mystic Meg?
Q How often will Microsoft update the Windows Desktop Product Lifecycle Roadmap information?
Did you not get the hint with the last answer??
Q Will Microsoft always follow these guidelines?
God, you really
are stupid, aren't you??
Q Why doesn't the Product Lifecycle Roadmap mention Windows 2000 Professional and Windows Millennium Edition?
We haven't yet re-designed the front end of these systems, so we can get mugs like you to pay for nice rounded buttons, a set of different icons and the same old bugs.
(Hee hee, this one doesn't know about XP yet... Hahahaha!)
Q If I have Windows 9x/Millennium licenses, how do I upgrade to Windows 2000 Professional?
Like DUH! You write out a cheque to us
Q If I have a significant business need to continue deploying Windows 2000 after March 31, 2003, what should I do?
A little bird said something about Linux, but I can't remember... Back to that cheque book...
Q Can I purchase a Windows desktop operating system license from my OEM even though it is no longer available in the direct OEM channel during the Extended and Non-Supported phases?
Hey Bill!! We've really got a live one here!! Come and see!
Q Why is Microsoft requiring customers to purchase Windows XP when you have been actively promoting Windows 2000 deployment?
Sweet baby Jesus, there's one born every minute...
The ocean liner was getting a bit cramped... Oh just forget it. Back to that cheque book...
Q How does Microsoft reconcile the fact that the Windows Desktop Product Lifecycle Guidelines state that Windows 2000 Professional will be available at least until June, 2004 and the Volume Licensing 6.0 states that you can only purchase Windows XP Professional beginning November 1, 2001?
Erm... yes
Q As a Volume Licensing customer, how do I obtain Windows operating system media once the product has entered the Extended phase or perhaps is in the Non-Supported phase?
Drop yer pants don't forget the Vaseline... Oh and the chequebook.
Q If I am an Academic customer, how do these guidelines apply to me?
Don't think you won't be buying Vaseline, either.
Q How do these policies affect Windows Server and Windows Embedded products?
You
were dropped at birth, right???
Q Do these guidelines apply to all language versions?
You becha! Equal opportunities, racial equality... we'll shaft the lot. We don't discriminate.
Q How do these guidelines affect Microsoft applications which run on Windows desktop operating systems?
I'll say this slowly: B U I L T - I N - O B S O L E S C E N C E.
Q When a Windows desktop operating system enters the Non-Supported phase, does that mean new applications won’t run on the older operating system?
Finally, the two braincells have spoken! Halle-frickin-loooooya!
Q How do I know who provides support for my Windows desktop operating system?
You use the MS utility FDISK, followed by FORMAT C:
Q What other options do I have for getting support?
A shrink
Q Why does assisted support provided by Microsoft end four years after general availability?
Retirement time! Woohoo!!
Q Once Microsoft's assisted and paid support offerings have ended, what are my options if I want to continue to receive support?
Dust the cobwebs off.... yep, the ol' cheque book.
Q Do these Windows Desktop Product Lifecycle Guidelines apply to existing Premier Support customers?
Oh yeah, they're used to it by now. Doesn't even touch the sides.
Q What is Hotfix Support?
Where we are forced to provide a patch to sure up a hole that some script kiddie's found.
Q Whom do customers contact about purchasing Hotfix Support during the Extended phase?
Oh, I think those 2 brain cells have gone back to sleep again
Linear Mode
