In a contest that began Tuesday, The Frito-Lay company is offering a tantalizing $50,000 college scholarship to one lucky moron who a) successfully pops out a baby by next Tuesday at noon - no exceptions!; and b) "is willing to, and does, legally give his/her newborn baby the first name of `Horton.'"
Now "Horton" is a perfectly fine name, so long as you are a fictional Dr. Seuss elephant. Or want to spend your life being compared to a fictional Dr. Seuss elephant. (And what self-conscious adolescent girl wouldn't!)
But the folks at Frito's are not motivated by the doings in Whoville. Instead, they are about to re-launch their animated "Baby Horton" spokesinfant - who apparently is the source of the "R-R-Ruffles have R-R-Ridges" line - and they thought this ought to be commemorated by scarring a real child.
"What better way to celebrate the `re-birth' of Ruffles' `Baby Horton' than with the birth of a new Baby Horton?" Stephen Quinn, vice president of marketing, asked in a press release. "Besides, we think Horton is a fun name."
Sure is. But I bet there's no one in the Quinn household named Horton.
The really pathetic thing is, some dolt out there is going to have a cessarian just to get the baby out in time
I'd guess there's only one winner allowed...
There's goign to be a lot of unhappy parents with kids named horton
__________________
<< Insert exceedingly large and overly verbose message of how 1337 you are here including full specs of every vehicle you've ever driven and PC you've owned >>
Whoa! When I first saw this, I was expecting a deal like...Frito Lay Johnson, or something...
Ah, corporate America, what a freak show. I swear, there are guys with MBA's out there roaming the cavernous halls of these huge, powerful corporations who OUGHT to be chopping corned beef or driving a taxi. Who the **** is checking the green cards around here, anyway??
I hope the "winners" child grows up to be a musician or other some such occupation that doesn't require college. wouldn't that be great not that i like the idea of the child being scarred for life without compensation from the soulless corporation. but it would be one of those great things to happen to the a-hole parents looking for the "get-rich-quick" type things.
not that i like the idea of the child being scarred for life without compensation from the soulless corporation. but it would be one of those great things to happen to the a-hole parents looking for the "get-rich-quick" type things.
Linear Mode
