Everyone needs this..

Gerbil Shirt
US Patent 5,901,333* / Issued 1999

Hey, are you tired of leaving your small pets at home when you are out and about? Could you use a little more quality time with your gerbils, mice, hamsters or snakes? Well now your dreams have come true with the Gerbil Shirt! The Gerbil Shirt wraps your torso in plastic tube passageways, making your bod a super highway of fun for Binky and Bart. The interior surfaces are textured for traction and have air vents for easy breathing.

The inventor suggests you can clean the Gerbil Shirt by attaching it to a faucet (remove pets first please), and you should avoid collisions and falls that could cause pet panic. We give two thumbs up to this living fashion accessory and we can't wait to see the toy poodle version.

Link to Totally absurd Patents.

[Redwolf]

ROFLMAO!!!

Wow, that's almost as absourd as the Gerbil Counter-Strike Level!

[Terminal23]

Why not?

[Redwolf]

Boob Tube
US Patent 5,101,315* / Issued 1992

Outdoor sporting events are a great way to enjoy fresh air and cheer for your favorite team. But when the weather turns ugly you need to protect yourself from the inclement elements. Umbrellas are OK but they block the view of the person behind you and you still often end up getting wet. Not with the Boob Tube, this foul weather suit is designed to protect you in rain, sleet, hail or snow while allowing a clear view for your fellow spectators. Now you can enjoy any event while snug and secure in your own little tube.

For convenience, you get a couple of slits for your arms and a built in hood. Figure #2 demonstrates the ability to sit down and look like a tube of toothpaste. The inventor suggests that the Boob Tube can also be made of a reflective metal foil for protection against the sun, poisonous gases or nuclear radiation. We suggest that if they drop the bomb, you'll end up looking like a giant burned Jiffy Pop.

Ummm..........Errr......Ehhhh.......

I can't think of anything to say...

This makes me want ot buy a Gerbil and a shirt like Surreal's. Err, forget the shirt. After seeing this, why not stick the gerbil in your underwear. It would make more sense.

[RedFury]

I'd love to see the dance the guy makes when the finally chews through part of the tubing and latches onto something meaty. The living shirt idea can stay on paper...I prefer my clothing dead. You won't catch me wearing clothing that moves, not to mention the fact that I can't stand the little rodents.

[Blueliner]

The gerbil shirt is a great idea! When it gets hot outside, you can have the gerbil run in a wheel to turn a fan pointed at your face to help keep you cool. If it had that, THEN I'd buy it!

What about hampsters? Why only gerbils??

An overclocked hampster would run a fan at high speed, keeping you VERY cool!!

Cheers
Mick

[jerrygarcia]

This isn't another gerbil thread is it?

[chipbgt]

I just ordered 3 for me and my little avatar buddy.

[Blueliner]

Obviously, if it's a hot day outside, the gerbil/hampster will need to be watercooled, maybe fill the bottom tube with water.