» 
Santa's Latest Press Release (Not for the younger ones!)
Santa Is Quitting His Job
T'was the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!
I've busted my arse for damn near a year,
Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?
The old lady b***hes cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.
Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those a**holes from the IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?
And the kids these days--they all are the pits
They want the impossible--Those mean little sh**s
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo's--NO request for them,
They want computers and robots..they think I'm IBM!
Flying through the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job..there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat a** and draw unemployment.
There's no Christmas this year..now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season!
| 
Linear Mode
