Marriage... and the eventual divorce

[ablang]

Titled so because most women trades marriages more often than they trade mortgages (30-yr my butt).

I would probably never get married, but I was just wondering... Does divorce laws govern a couple in the state they get married in, or the state they live in, or is it more complicated than that.

Obviously, if I ever do get married, I probably would want to shy away from CA, as they seem to support the spouse who has "earned" her fair share of the assets after a marriage is dissolved.

Interesting question. I would rather focus on the postives of marriage, and aim for a lasting one, rather than worry about pre-nups and such.

But with the rate of diviorce these days, you have a good point.

Cheers
Mick

[vass0922]

Its reliant upon where you live.
I believe you have to be resident in the state for a period of time.

[Gouki]

I'm interested in finding this out as well...doesn't seem like things are getting any better between my wife and I...to be honest they seem to be getting worse. I imagine that within the next few weeks I'll be meeting with a lawyer to get the paper work started...

[Praetorian]

I'm sorry to hear that Gouki. I really hope your relationship does not end up in a divorce, even though that's where things seem to be headed. Have you thought of marriage couseling, or just separating (no dating while separated) for a bit? The divorce rate among couples these days is simply outrageous! I hate to hear of marriages that end like this. This was not how God intended marriage, and love, to be. Even though I don't know you, I wish the best for you and your wife. I hope you are able (not matter how long it takes) to salvage your marriage, and live together in hapiness for the rest of your lives. Here's a quote from the Bible that I'd like to share with you, and I hope it encourages you in some way.

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.

1 Corinithians 13:4-8

-Praetorian

[Gouki]

Originally posted by Praetorian
Have you thought of marriage couseling, or just separating (no dating while separated) for a bit?

Both actually. We've been seperated since last September (going on 7 months now) and we started to go to counseling, I went along the first couple times and then the counselor asked if she could do some sessions with just my wife and that was the last time I've been. AFAIK, my wife is still going...so I guess that's a good thing.

The reason I say it seems like it's headed for divorce is because I feel like I (we) have tried a number of different things...and it just doesn't seem to get any better. Well...that and pretty much all my family and friends have been telling me for a while now that I've put up with enough and that I've given this marriage more 2nd chances then it deserves. I know that doesn't sound too good...but if I told ya the "rest of the story" you'd understand. It'd also be a small novel. lol

Anyways...my marriage problems is not what this thread is about. Sorry for the detour.

[Theophylact]

I think pretty much everyone should get married at least once; the experience is so educational. It's an intensive course in making accommodations. (If you're constitutionally incapable of compromise, don't get married; it'll be a disaster for you, your spouse, or both.)

(Marcia and I have each been married three times, but we've now been married to each other for 22 years, so I think it's pretty likely to last.)

[Theophylact]

Doctor Johnson once remarked of a friend who had remarried after his first wife died, "The triumph of hope over experience."

So despite my apparent cynicism, I must be at heart an optimist. Odd...

[caddmannq]

Well, "Hope springs eternal..." you know.

Like Theo, I've been married three times, but two of those were to the same gal.

Whoever comes out the "financial winner" in the divorce, expect it to screw you up for a while. Take your time selecting someone new. Now that you know the risks of marriage, err on the side of caution.

[Toddly]

Originally posted by ablang
Titled so because most women trades marriages more often than they trade mortgages (30-yr my butt).

I would probably never get married, but I was just wondering... Does divorce laws govern a couple in the state they get married in, or the state they live in, or is it more complicated than that.

Obviously, if I ever do get married, I probably would want to shy away from CA, as they seem to support the spouse who has "earned" her fair share of the assets after a marriage is dissolved.

Are you blaming the majority of divorces on women? I don't believe that is true at all. Women will more than likely try to salvage a realtionship before they resort to divorce.