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04-01-2003, 04:53 AM
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#1 (permalink)
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Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Central, Me.
Posts: 1,753
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Oddities
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
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A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."
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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
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A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
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Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
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"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home.'"
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"It's not unusual."
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Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!"
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A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Glad Wrap shorts.
The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
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Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
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I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "no, the steaks are too high."
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A f sh.
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Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says "dam"
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Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other "I'll man the guns, you drive"
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Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before
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SPEEDO
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04-01-2003, 05:09 AM
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#2 (permalink)
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Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Urbana, Illinois
Posts: 1,845
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Thanks for the early morning laugh, SPEEDO.
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Mark}--->8-8->
If you're not the lead dog, the scenery never changes. |
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04-01-2003, 05:57 AM
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#3 (permalink)
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Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,260
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04-01-2003, 06:16 AM
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#4 (permalink)
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I like the upper management one shooting the .......better.
What'd you do, Skip? Dig up your old emails?
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04-01-2003, 06:28 AM
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#5 (permalink)
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Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: York, PA.
Posts: 1,326
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04-01-2003, 06:34 AM
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#6 (permalink)
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Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: NC
Posts: 1,191
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These two are great... ROFL Quote:
A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Glad Wrap shorts.
The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
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Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says "dam"
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04-01-2003, 08:30 AM
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#7 (permalink)
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Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Central, Me.
Posts: 1,753
| Quote: |
What'd you do, Skip? Dig up your old emails
| Something like that...........
Actually I'm installing Mandrake 9.1 (Bamboo).........  weird name.
And I'm looking thru some of the CD's I made with CD-Roast last year...............
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SPEEDO
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04-01-2003, 08:39 AM
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#8 (permalink)
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 400
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04-01-2003, 09:03 AM
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#9 (permalink)
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Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Bottom left of U.S.
Posts: 4,714
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The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Sorry, couldn't resist.
Bill
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04-01-2003, 12:21 PM
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#10 (permalink)
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Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: inside the Beltway, outside the loop
Posts: 1,067
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A rabbi, a minister and a priest walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"
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