Things we can learn from out children.

[Xeroid]

1. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

2. A 3-year-old is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

3. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman cape. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a large room.

5. When using the ceiling fan as a baseball bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.

10. Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a six-year-old.

11. "Play-Doh" and "microwave" should never be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCRs do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise in a moving car.

18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.

20. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

21. Cats spit up twice their body weight when dizzy.

[Creatures]

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise in a moving car.

awsome gonna try that

Creatures

[NeoStarO1]

lol those are funny.

[Brainchild]

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's already too late.

Not only funny most are true,and only funny in hindsight,IMO

The toilet plugged up when my brother was about 3,and so dad had to dig up the sewer line,and clear it out.When he found the clog it was a pair of training pants.Dad pulled them out, held them up and looked at my brother standing in the back yard watching the digging.He looks at dad and says DER DEY ARE
Dad wasn't all that amused,but mom about rolled laughing

[OuTpaTienT]

What? From who's children? You're scaring me man!

[cowboybooter]

My youngest is three on Tuesday, do I need to get Personal Protection ?


Those are soooo true,


CBB

[Xeroid]

Originally posted by cowboybooter


My youngest is three on Tuesday, do I need to get Personal Protection ?


Those are soooo true,


CBB

cowboybooter, I've got 4 kids ages 17 to 5. I can personally testify that all of the above observations are true. & Hey Outpatient, man are you in for a lot of fun!

Mike

[skuz]

Add another : frozen marshmallows make very good projectiles to throw to brothers.

Imagine the mom's face when her little boy comes in crying "he threw me a marshmallow"

[MD1032]

Another:

--It's always the stuffed animal/doll/other inanimate object's fault.

--whining always gets their way, no matter how determined you are

[M_Six]

I lived next to a couple in Germany who had insurance on their kid. Good thing, too. The first day home with my shiny new BMW, the kid crashes himself and his bike into it, leaving major scratches all down the driver's door. Suddenly the insurance idea made sense.