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English gendered nouns and why.
From the Washington Post Style Invitational in which it was
postulated that English has male and female nouns, and readers were asked to assign a gender to nouns of their choice, and explain their reason.
The best submissions:
Swiss Army Knife - male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.
Kidneys - female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.
Penlight - male, because it can be turned on very easily, but isn't
very bright.
Hammer - male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years but it's handy to have around and is good for killing spiders.
Tire - male, because it goes bald and often is over-inflated.
Hot air balloon - male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it. And, of course, there's the hot air part.
Web page - female, because it is always getting hit on.
Web page - male, because you have to wait for it to reload.
Shoe - male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue
hanging out.
Copier - female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm
up. Because it is an effective reproductive device when the right
buttons are pushed. Because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.
Ziploc bags - male, because they hold everything in, but you can
always see right through them.
Sponges - female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.
Subway - male, because it uses the same old lines to pick up people.
Hourglass - female, because over time, the weight shifts to the
bottom.
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