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bad day at work
Next time you have a bad day at work...think of this guy. Bob is a
commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs
underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.
Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio
station 103.2 on your FM dial in Ft Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a
worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a
bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work,
so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's
not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first
must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to
the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool.
So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial
water heater.
This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It
heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver
through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times
with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start
working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This
floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to
itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out
from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had
happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it
into my suit.
Now since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't
stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I
scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the
jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of
my dilemma over the communicator His instructions were unclear due to
the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing
hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive.
I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops
totaling thirty five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin
my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was
wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter
running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it
on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out,
but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
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