Horror movie survival guide

[Epidemic]

Here is a list of flaws and their respective solutions to be followed by all heros and people thrust into deadly horror movies.

1) Screaming while hiding is a sure way to insure your capture. Movie heroins should pay special attention to controlling audible emissions such as screaming, crying and sobbing.

2) When running from someone or thing trying to kill you your ankles are notorious for failing you. If you manage to escape from a villian you should make sure to tape your ankles using articles of clothing during any period where you can afford to rest.

3) Many heros have blundered on this one. A person or thing which is trying to kill who is simply injured or unconscious may actually get backup and kill you or your friends. The best solution is to beat them repeatedly with the biggest weapon you can find at the time.

4) Entering dark rooms is a classic method for getting yourself killed. Your best alternative is to turn on the light or if no light is available not to go exploring monster laden rooms in the dark.

"Lotsa time with nuthin' to do....."

[Epidemic]

This is important stuff if you are ever living out a horror movie.

[CERuppel]

Epidemic: You mean like tax time?

Like I said:

"Lotsa time with nuthin' to do...."

[kenyg]

and - when your friends are being mysteriously killed in grisley ways.. one by one... and you hear a noise in the attic.... DON"T GO UP THERE!

[skuz]

The one thing I dislike about horror movies : the complete lack of motives explanation for the killer person/creature.

[couch potato]

thanks. ill use that guide next time my sister rents barney

[U-96]

Never, EVER, have sex.

You WILL die.

[Agent_Embryo]

Never ever ever say "I'll be right back..."