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Thanks everyone, your support means alot to me.
Quality of life isn't really something that he has right now. Everyone in the family has realized that it's not a matter of if, but a matter of when he will pass on and sometimes I find myself thinking that it would just be better if he would pass away. I find his physical and mental state rather depressing and think that maybe it would be better if he would pass on so he doesn't have to suffer any longer.
I really worry about how my grandmother would take it though. This year would be their 52nd year of marriage and not once since they married have they been apart. I think her heart attack stems from the fact that she has been the only one that has been looking after him because she doesn't want to put him in a home. And I don't blame her.
The worst thing about alzheimer's disease is how a person's mental state fades away. If there's one reason why I don't like it, apart from it degenerative nature, is the fact that your memories of a person are really those in their deteriorating state. And rather than remembering the good times, I find myself thinking of the not-so good times relating to his illness. Although I can remember the good memories, they are just overpowered by the recent, vivid memories of him in a sad state.
Sorry this post seems so depressing. I had to vent somewhere and I think this is probably the best place.
Again, thank you everyone for your support.
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