My best friend with lung cancer is giving up!!!

[glohworm]

I've dreaded this day from the time he was first diagnosed with lung cancer in June of 2001. He's fought the good fight all this time and now he's been on his second round of chemo. He dropped over to my place while a mutual friend was over and told us both he's not going back to VA for anymore blood tests or chemo!!! Needless to say, I freaked out and blew my top. His problem is that he feels deep down inside that his wife and kids don't care about him. So why, he feels, should I bother to struggle at VA with chemo and radiation, blah, blah! Everyone's in denial. Tom's just the guy laying on the couch in the basement, etc. Literally, the only family member that bothers to come down to see him is the family dog, "Garcia"!

How does one try to get another to want to live?! I don't have the answers to this one.

[Redwolf]

Tell him youre there for him. Convince him that he is cared and loved for.

Cancer is a hard beast to fight, especially lung cancer, but it can be beaten.

To tell the truth, it's your friends descision, so I can't say that I has the answers. You can only hope and pray.

[Brainchild]

Gloh, there may not be a clear cut answer, and sometimes there may not be an answer at all.

I would sit down and talk to your friend.Encourage him to talk with his wife. Chances are she is avoiding the subject for some reason.This is not a good time for him to feel alone, he needs all the comfort,and companionship that everyone can give.

My thoughts and prayers are with your friend,and with you beccause you're gonna need strength in this time as well as your friend

BC

[shawshank62]

I think talking to him is the best thing to do, and maybe go behind his back and talk to his kids and wife and tell them why he choose not to go forward with the chemo. Maybe they can show him they do love him....or at least i hope they do. Dont give up.

[Knothead]

I am really sorry to hear of this, GW....

I have seen this before. Your friend has "pulled the pin", and is just waiting for the end. I sincerely wish I could say something inspiring, but...sorry.

It is that way for some people. I think the purpose of his visit was to say goodbye. Sorry to say.

[glohworm]

Thanks all for your posts. I should explain a little about where I'm coming from. I and my ex-wife got them together 23 years ago! She was 19 and a little self-centered puppy, i.e., me,me,me! I love her dearly as the kid sister I never had! But for these 23 years or so, she's been a real "party gal"! They have two boys (16 & 10) and all three of them ignore him as though he's not even there! That's why he's giving up!

The problem is that I've been taking him to VA on and off for almost two years now and I think he's tired of seeing my ugly mug every day, etc. I've stayed away for the last two days because I think it's time for him to come to terms with his family and let them know the reality of it all! I'll keep you good people posted. Thanks to you all.

Gary

[Sweet]

Give my best wishes to him!!!!!!!!!!!!!

give a kiss on the cheek, the a 2" lick to make him slap ya....

He really hasn't given up, he is just asking for more help......

[Sweet]

some time has passed............

what is going on???????????

enlighten your friend about what he can do when he gets better, he can reach for any goal......

[Sweet]

Do you want me to fly there and slap some sence into him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Blazer06]

I may be able to help you if you can answer this question: Does he belive in god.

Also, give me some details about his personality. I may know how to help him, as I was suicidle at a time and know to a point what he may be thinking.

If all else fails... use reverse pysicology (sorry for spelling).

Blazer06