Bad days in Georgia

[Richard Cranium]

Mom has gone nutzo. She quit her anti-depressants in Feb. Before that everying was fine..
I was gonna move out on the "back 40" and quit work, hang out, help out, in general be around.

Then she flipped.
Quote
"I hate this place, the Deer in the yard keep tripping the motion detector lights, and they clack their horns keeping me awake"

Huh, we've only had the place since 1960 ?

So a $180,000 house is sold for some $135k
None of the kids were aware of the pending sale until driving up and seeing the signs.

Selling is one thing, buying an overpriced duplex is something else.
$275k for a 1700 sq/ft place, THEN she's signed a contract to pay $350 a month in Maint. fees. This is open ended and can go up without notice.

We're afraid she's gonna bust the bank. Pop left her ok money wise, plenty for upkeep and a mini-farm worth $600k

So now the house is gone for $135~
The land which is worth $400 + has a retainer on it for >>$235k<< !!
And just GUESS Who has the money on the land ?
The owner of the real estate company's son !

Talks between family of a Competency Hearing were put aside.
We're all too sick or tired to fight, besides she'd explode and disown us for it.

Just what do ya do when the old folks go off on a tangent ?

You want to prevent them from giving away the whole thing and going on welfare but medical conditions and selfish habits make this difficult.

We're wondering if the starting stages of Alzheimers is setting in.

Admist all this, my back is hurting like hell, my head feels like I've been wearing a hat way too tight, and my precious little g/f that I've had only since late July has split.. says she's "not ready"


end rant

Thanx
Doc

Does she have any friends that she may listen to?
If not you may have to go the Competency Hearing route.
Even if she does flip once the meds kick in and she returns to normal she will see why you guys did it.
Also I'm sure it wasn't your fathers intent for her to give away his hard earned money was it?
Sorry to hear about it Doc, but you guys need to do this for the family.

[NeoStarO1]

Frankly i agree with surreal here on this case. Sorry doc, as for your question on wondering if this is the beginning stages of alzheimers and i can clearly tell you I think no. Why your mother sounds exactly like my grandmother when she got older.

My grandmother got like that, she was on anti depressants and then went off of them cuz she didn't think she needed them, and quit taking them, my mom had to go over to her place every day to make sure she took her meds as well as her blood pressure meds and my grandmother was forever calling the cops cause of this "guy outside" she was delious from not taking the meds and was extrememely depressed and thougth she heard and saw things, just before we moved her to a foster home, (not a nursing home or one of those big places) a small foster home, was when she was convince "that guy" was in the attic talking to her all the time. well thing of it is that there was no attic in the apt. so mom knew it was time to move her but did not want a nursing home at all. she opted for a foster home is basically like an adult child care home around the clock. it was a great place for her.

her downward spiral started when she lost her drivers lience and couldn't pass the test. That is what started it for my grandmother.

I think its time to take things into your hands and get her the help she needs cuz clearly she is not making wize choices and is being impulsive.

I hope all goes well for you and your mother.


edit: doc, this is an IF statement that if you were to do this..

Just becuz you and/or the other siblings in the family decide to take mom in for a compentcy test doesn't mean you all are being selfish becuz of assets. you just dont' want mom to get ripped off and looking out for her best interst. I am pretty sure this wouldn't be an issue if she got what the house is really worth and wisely investied the money in another place. The issue here is she isn't seeing the value of it and making bad choices of it or she is being sorely informed by people that the house is worth less than it really is.

keep us posted.

[Knothead]

Doc, it sounds to me this way: And I intend to speak bluntly, please forgive me if it comes off wrong, I mean no offense:

To you, or anybody else:

It sounds to me as though this woman has been allowed to weild a lot more power than she has capacity to hold. She appears to have been given so much support in her life, that she now expects EVERYTHING handed to her on a tray. She feels 'Entitled'. As such, she is willing to throw away the family plan in favor of her own selfish wants. Heh, she's the signatory on the escrow, isn't she?

No matter how much a person like this recieves, it is never enough. And it is horrible, and frustrating. And how the hell do you throttle 'em back? Especially when they're old, and dependant upon you? The demands never cease.

I guess I'm ranting, too...sorry. I'm going through a similar situation, and...yes, anti-depressant meds play a part in this too on her part.

[Richard Cranium]

Knot, you got it exactly.

Though I'm not sure of the factors that caused her attitude, you are incredibly accurate.

[Target]

Oh man Doc.... this stinks if for no other reason than your mother has cheated herself.

If you need a shoulder to lean on, or to talk off-line, lemme know.

[Ming]

Off the meds? Unfortunately I may be in a similar situation in the near future, but there is no competency in question or medication involved in the case. Sometimes you have to remind yourself, it is their life. If you can't stop them, they are doing it to themselves.

[Sweet]

Sorry to hear about a situation like this. It is no fun. About the only thing I'd suggest is for your family to re-connect and try to stay together. Get to know your Mom by asking her questions about her childhood, her goals, her dreams. Plan a small vacation together. Time goes by too fast to miss out on precious moments. Ya might find out there is a reason behind all of this. That would mean you could understand it and maybe do something. Better to be a bit proactive now rather than have a lot of sleepless nights down the road.....

[Brainchild]

Doc;
Alot of times the old house holds too many memories, and they feel as if they have to get out, as fast as possible, no matter the cost.Lonely on top of this doesn't help.Going off the medication is another factor, as well as just realizing thier own mortality.
But if ya go in trying to "save her" you're asking for trouble IMO.
I know where you're coming from, I just don't know what to tell ya
Went through this same thing with my grandpa after Granny pasted away.
Above all else, get her back on the meds, and get her into a group of people her own age. Friends that have a positive outlook on life will help more than anything else you can do.
Depression is a powerful condition, ,and needs to be controlled.

Good Luck

BC

[Epidemic]

I do not know if this can be done but I would go the the RE agent and tell them that your mother is not in her right mind.

Perhaps talk to a lawyer to determine if the deal can be stopped pending a hearing.

I do not like people taking advantage.