The Computerized Hammer

[CMonster]

Microsoft Hammer vs. Linux Hammer

Microsoft Hammer:

Features Include

*Large cumbersome screen and micro keyboard attached to handle
*Automatic Thumbnail avoidance system

Licensing

*Hammer XP Home edition ($159) may be used to drive in one 16d Box nail and one 10d Finish nail
*Hammer XP Corporate edition ($4000) may be used to drive in twentyfive 16d Box nails or twentyfive 10d Finish nails

How to Use

Boot Hammer and Logon with Biometric Thumbprint scan

Simply click
*Start>Programs>MS Hammer,
*In the options dialog box enter the required information

Type of fastener (16d Box, 10d Finis, etc)
Type of material being joined (2"x4" Douglas Fir, etc)
Number of blows desired to sink fastener (e.g. 1, 3, or the "pound-5-bend-straighten&3-more-blows" method)
Press <enter>


(Oops! MS Hammer has preformed an illegal operation and will be shut down ...)

Reboot Hammer

Enter information again; this time it works and a message is displayed that says "It is now okay to pound with your hammer."

*****************

Linux Hammer:

Features Include

*Handle (wood or fiberglass)
*Steel (only) hammer head (although an alpha version is rumored to exist that supports rawhide mallots)

Licensing

*GPL

How to use

First obtain the latest verson of Ghammer which you can find at www-ghammer-org or downlaod the latest devolopement verson at www-crackerslyinginwait.cvs-net

You will need:

ghandle_wood-1.2-7.tar.gz (or) ghandle_fiberglass-1.2-7.tar.gz

(and) ghead_2.3-10 (although we also keep 9 previous versions on the download page with broken links just to confuse newbies)

also requires kernel headers, headlibc, handlelibc, and impossibletofindlib-1.so.456

Decompress and untar files into the desired directory

enter the directory and do a "./configure" and "make," then su to root and do a "make install_head-to-handle."

(Oops! "./configure" failed with a bunch of errors? You need to install the devolopement tools and kernel headers)

At last! Ghammer is ready to use ...to make your Ghammer available to all users do a #chmod -R 777 /usr/local/ghammer

To use simply type ghammer at the command line, this will bring up your browser and connect you to an online hardware store from which you can have your hammer shipped to you.

When your hammer arrives simply pound nails as desired

for more information see man ghammer

__________________
CMonster says, "You can't choose the right OS if you don't have a choice."

[Ptrper]

Yup,

You hit the nail on the head...

No pun intended...

[CERuppel]

LOL!!!

You forgot about the AMD hammers... (Claw and Sledge)

LOL CMonster!

Ya have to wonder what the OS makers intend users to use OSes for sometimes. Should we only use M$ OSes to perform specific tasks approved by M$ Corporation?

And GPL/GNU OSes are just as bad - do we really need to know what dependencies every single little program needs, when all we want to do is print something?

Can't any of them get it right? How did we ever manage microwave ovens and VCR's without then crashing every day?!?!

Nice use of hammers, though.

Cheers
Mick