DEFINITIONS BY GENDER

[Kuasimodem]

THINGY:
female: Any part under a car's hood.
male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

VULNERABLE:
female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
male: Playing football without a helmet.

COMMUNICATION:
female: The sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
male: Leaving a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the boys.

BUTT:
female: The body part that "looks bigger" no matter what is worn.
male: What you slap when someone scores a touchdown, home run, or goal. Also good for mooning.

COMMITMENT:
female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
male: Trying not to pick up other women while out with girlfriend.

ENTERTAINMENT:
female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
male: Anything that can be done while drinking.

FLATULENCE:
female: An embarrassing by-product of digestion.
male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.

It's really scary, how these are so close to the truth in most cases

[TheBurningCat]

Oh no!

[vass0922]

THINGY... not true at all!!

[M_Six]

Excuse the misdemeanor thread crapping, Kuasimodem, but here's something similar:

From the Washington Post Style Invitation, in which it was postulated that English should have male and female nouns and readers were asked to assign a gender to a noun of their choice and explain their reason.

The Best Submissions:

ZIPLOC BAGS - male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.

SWISS ARMY KNIFE - male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.

KIDNEYS - female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.

SHOE - male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging
out.

COPIER - female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. Because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed. Because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.

TIRE - male, because it goes bald and often is over inflated.

HOT AIR BALLOON - male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it... and, of course, there's that hot air part.

SPONGES - female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.

WEB PAGE - female, because it is always getting hit on.

SUBWAY - male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

HOURGLASS - female, because over time the weight shifts to the bottom.

HAMMER - male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.

REMOTE CONTROL - female....Ha! You thought I'd say male. But consider, it gives man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he does keeps trying.

[Brainchild]

Thingy and hourglass, I agree with both

LMAO

[LinuxNewbie]

it's like these things always point towards men depending on friends for support and women depending on their husbands for support.
i'm not married so i have to ask, does that sound about right?

[Xeroid]

FLATULENCE:
male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.

Bah ha ha ha !!!

Mike

[crzymt12]

Ha thats good stuff

Men vs. Women: Round 2


NICKNAMES
If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call
each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.
If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer
to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.


EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have
anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.


MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.


BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.


ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.


FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.


SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.


DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.


NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.


OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods,
secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.


THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Any married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

[LinuxNewbie]

Originally posted by shahani
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods,
secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

lol