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Attn Chefs:
You have nothing to fear from me.
You Know You're A Bad Cook When...
* You use the smoke alarm as a cooking timer.
* You consider it a culinary success if the pop-tart stays in one
piece.
* Your dog goes to the neighbors' to eat.
* Your family buys Alka Seltzer and Kaopectate in bulk.
* When you barbecue, two of your kids hold water guns and the third stands ready by the phone with 911 on speed-dial.
* Your family automatically heads for the dinner table every time
they hear a fire truck siren.
* The EPA insists that all your garbage cans be marked with biohazard symbols.
* Your microwave display reads "TILT!"
* Your two best recipes are meatloaf and apple pie, but your dinner guests can't tell which is which.
* Your pie-filling bubbles over and eats the enamel off the bottom of the oven.
* You've used three boxes of scouring pads and a bottle of Drano and a crowbar, and that macaroni and cheese still won't let go of the pan.
* Pest control companies keep pestering you for your recipes.
* You make tuna noodle surprise and the surprise is that it glows in the dark and melts the silverware.
* Your family prays AFTER they eat!
My friend also sent me a funny Aussie dictionary that is not forum appropriate. If you want it, PM me.
__________________
I'm the reson they invented spell check.
"It's always darkest just before it goes pitch black." despair.com
Last edited by fatal xception; 09-26-2002 at 10:31 AM.
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