i just gotta DO it...

[draboo]

a very good friend of mine has lung cancer. has been going thru treatments for a few months. i havent seen or talked to him since before he was diagnosed. i called and left a message at his house after i had heard about the cancer,but he never returned my call.

today,there is a big dinner benefit for him at a local high school. food,raffles,etc. to raise money for his treatments, for he has no insurance.

i guess i m a bit uncomfortable going there and seeing him. what do you say to a person in his situation?? "hey,how ya doin` there ,joe??" or "how ya feeling ,guy??"

i m real reluctant to get of my a$$ and go,but i know that the dinner isnt for just money,its to show support for the guy. he installs carpet and is a high school wrestling coach.

besides that,i know i m gonna lose any sort of composure and get very emotional. for an ex-drunk who used to settle arguements with a swinging barstool,i m actually a real sensitive guy

well,its around 4 pm est,and i m off. i guess "i just gotta DO it"

cya later,all

brad

[Knothead]

I don't envy you, Brad. Good luck, and if you get a bit misty, try not to let him see it....

Just being there will mean a lot, Brad. Money is secondary.

Good luck to your friend and hope it al works out.

[NeoStarO1]

Cancer patiences biggest gripe: People treat me as if I have changed. Im still the same person as before. Why don't they get it?

Don't treat him any different. Treat him as you always have, You say he is a good friend of yours. Then treat him as your good friend. He hasn't changed at all. Only the insides of his body is changing. Just like the rest of us. our medical needs change from time to time in our lives. Sometimes for the worse. Just go and be that good friend you always have been and don't look at him like an invalid or someone with some scary disease.

I have had many friends who has found out they either have cancer or a son has been killed or something or other and the thing I see the most is, why do people treat me different now?

Think about it. Have they really changed from who they are as a person?

go on and have some fun at the benifit and be there for him.

Good luck.

[cowboybooter]

Good Advice Neo,

Just be there, my man,

GL

[OuTpaTienT]

It shouldn't matter whether want to do it or not, you know it's the right thing to do. So what if you get a little emotional, what's that mean? ...you care about someone? ...you have feelings? ...you're human? None of those are anything to be embarrassed about.

Let us know how it goes.

You've already gotten the best advice. I'm betting by the time you post back here, you'll be glad that you went.

Good luck

Agree with all those above. Being there may be hard for you, but it's the best thing you can do for him as a friend.

And cancer may be life-threatening, but treatment CAN and DOES keep it a bay sometimes. So he may have cancer, but he may have many many more productive years ahead of him yet, depending on what happens. Don't write him off yet. That's the kind of support he needs right now. Help him riase the money for treatment so he can go on living.

Cheers
Mick

[Ed_S]

One of my best friends that I'd known since early childhood passed away 3 yrs ago from cancer. Regretfully, I saw him seldom in his last six months. I just couldn't take it.
His wife called one night & said time was short, likely less than a week. Next day I dropped what I was supposed to do & just went.

It was one of the hardest evenings of my life, but I thank God for the strength to have done it.

Jesse passed on the next day. To this day I still feel guilt for not spending more time with him, and I can't imagine how I'd feel if that evening had never happened.

Going is hard NOW, but failing to is hard FOREVER!

JUST GO!

[draboo]

you cant imagine the great feeling all of you have given me by responding to this thread. this isnt an online community,its FAMILY (i think TKOP can back me on that)

just got home from the benefit. it was more than wonderful. they had planned on feeding around 300 and got over 600. joes whole wrestling team,past and present,were there. his best friend (who is around 55 years old and shaved his head to support joe,and now looks like a WWF wrestler) bought a highschool wrestling sweatshirt at the auction for 150 bucks,had the whole wrestling team sign it,and gave it to joe. that happened after i left,or i surely wouldve "lost" it.

a girl read a letter from joes daughters who couldnt be there and after she was done,the band couldnt play right away,something got in their eyes. same thing got in mine too.

i went and talked to joe for a few minutes. was a bit uncomfortable,but i made it thru without being a basketcase. gave him a hug and mentioned if he needs any help with anything,not to hesitate to call.

hes in great spirits,and i am very grateful that i went and showed him support. the outpouring of love from friends,and the community in general was way above and beyond what i thought it would be. i thought there was a football game going on at the same time,the parking lot was so full. when i got inside,it was standing room only

thanks again,TIMO members,yous are the BEST!!!!!

DATDRABOOGUY