i can recall the thread vass, but I can't find it either

The only thing I can think is that it was in The Longest Thread.

I ain't looking through it, though...

Hope your bruise goes down quick. There is a cream you can use to make bruises dissipate faster - not sure if you can buy it over the counter in the US, but you could try a pharmacy. Called Hirudoid here (proper name is heparinoid). We use it for post-op bruising a bit, or when IV's tissue and the fluid infilrates.
Cheers
Mick
Cheers
Mick