»
 

Go Back   ResellerRatings Store Ratings > ResellerRatings Forums > Off Topic Community

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 09-02-2002, 10:10 AM   #1 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Toadman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Southern California
Posts: 820
Toadman is on a distinguished road
Send a message via ICQ to Toadman
In the Beginning...

God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach and green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 99-cent double-cheeseburger. And Satan said to Man, "You want fries with that?"

And Man said, "Super size them." And Man gained pounds.

And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that man found so fair.

And Satan froze the yogurt, and he brought forth chocolate, nuts and brightly colored sprinkle candy to put on the yogurt. And woman gained pounds.

And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."

And Satan brought forth creamy dressings, bacon bits, and shredded cheese.

And there was ice cream for dessert. And woman gained pounds.

And God said, "I have sent your heart healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them."

And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak from Cracker Barrel so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained pounds, and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.

And God brought forth running shoes, and Man resolved to lose those extra pounds.

And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2. And Man gained pounds.

And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil." And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.

And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them. And he created sour cream dip also.

And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol. And Satan saw and said, "It is good."

And Man went into cardiac arrest.

And God sighed, and created quadruple bypass surgery, angioplasties, and stints . . . . .

And Satan created HMOs...

Toadman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-02-2002, 11:22 AM   #2 (permalink)
Guest
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Comicly stated, yet how true! "Fried" is not one of the food groups lol
  Reply With Quote
Old 09-02-2002, 11:26 AM   #3 (permalink)
Registered User
 
CERuppel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Michigan, USA
Posts: 716
CERuppel is on a distinguished road
What?!? Fried is not a food group?!?

I was so close to a perfect diet...
CERuppel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-02-2002, 12:32 PM   #4 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Monett Missouri
Posts: 3,900
Brainchild is on a distinguished road
Send a message via Yahoo to Brainchild
that's about the truth of it, of course I love fried foods
__________________
Cheers

B.C.

Hug your kids, you never know:D
Brainchild is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-02-2002, 12:48 PM   #5 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Central Wisconsin
Posts: 84
fritz the cat is on a distinguished road
Quote:
Originally posted by brainchild
I love fried foods
Fried in Lard YUMM!
fritz the cat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-02-2002, 01:00 PM   #6 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: NC in the US
Posts: 3,732
Redwolf is on a distinguished road
Send a message via ICQ to Redwolf Send a message via AIM to Redwolf Send a message via Yahoo to Redwolf
Re: In the Beginning...

Quote:
Originally posted by Toadman

And Satan created HMOs...
Ouch...that's bad even for old scratch himself.
Redwolf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-02-2002, 03:41 PM   #7 (permalink)
Registered User
 
howste's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: West Haven, Utah
Posts: 2,063
howste is on a distinguished road
Quote:
Originally posted by Socalgal
"Fried" is not one of the food groups lol
What about deep fried squid? It's what's for dinner. And then there's the deep fried cheese that goes with it.

<-----MMMMM
howste is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-02-2002, 04:19 PM   #8 (permalink)
Guest
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
But I didn't order it.
  Reply With Quote
Old 09-02-2002, 04:21 PM   #9 (permalink)
Registered User
 
howste's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: West Haven, Utah
Posts: 2,063
howste is on a distinguished road
You're right - that was me. But you made Knothead eat it...
howste is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-02-2002, 04:22 PM   #10 (permalink)
Guest
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Yes, I did. He really liked it.
  Reply With Quote
Reply




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Most Active Discussions

Recent Discussions

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 10:33 PM.