Funny ways to answer the phones?

[vass0922]

Was driving around today and thought about some ways we used to answer the phone when we were kids


Some were...

Michiana mortuary, you tag 'em we bag 'em
Michiana mortuary you stab 'em we slab 'em
Michiana crematorium you stake 'em we bake 'em
Pop's bait shop... master baiter speaking...

(mind you, I grew up in SW Michigan so Michiana is Michigan/Indiana area)

What's some that you've heard?

[korgul]

Mike's meat market
You can't beat our meat

[NeoStarO1]

LOL, someones mind is bored while driving. LOL

[willy_ph]

Road Kill Cafe, you kill 'em, we grill 'em.

[Brainchild]

horse and mule barn
head @** speaking

web bar spider speaking

And once I called a friends house whose last name is white
White House, President ***** isn't here right now.

and my favorite
The answering machie says
did you ever wonder when you talk to one of these machines if the person was actually sitting there listening to you make a fool of yourself?
Me: Ben answer the phone
Ben :WHat do you want

[CERuppel]

"Order of the Black Cross; Satan Loves You!!!"

Serious, I used that to get this one idiot to stop calling the pay phone at the library...

[pickel]

In an Asian accent, if I get one of those "Out of Area" on my caller
ID, I quickly say " Chinese Restuarant" about four or five times. They hang up without a word!!!!!!!

[Cruez]

Marks' Morque, you kill 'em, we fill 'em.

[brandon184]

"Thank You for.. voting.. That .. will be a .. $650 charge to your.. phone bill. .. Please hang up .. now."

[Redwolf]

"Telemarketers hunting society; you get phoned, they get blown [away]. How may I help you?"

"This is KJAX 102.9 FM and you are ON THE AIR!"

"This is KJAX 102.9 FM and you are CALLER NUMBER 29! YOU'VE JUST WON $10,000!!!!"

"National Rifle Association, Anti-Solicitation division. How may I help you?" -(Don't take this in offense please, I'm a supporter of the NRA )

"OJ Simpson speaking."

This is by far the funniest ones. Someone told me that you can best avoid telemarketers by trying to sell them something. Take the following:
"Hello?"
"Hello sir. I'm with AT&T and we'd like to sell you an offer you can't refuse!"
"And what wou'ld that be?" *act genuinely interested*
"It's our super-quantam plan. Yo ucan call anyone in the universe for only 10 cents a minute!"
"I'm not interested, but would you be interested in a super-quantam plan?"
"Excuse me?"
"It's just 10 cents a minute to call anyone in the universe. It'sd a great deal, especially for your friends on Venus."
"Ummm. sir? Venus doesn't harbor life?"
"That's why you must buy it. One day, Venus will harbor life!"
"Not for a while sir. And what am I doing-"
*click*