Hey guys, Is this normal?

[Martoch]

Hello everybody!!!

Ok, here's the situation...

I've been with my girlfriend for 1 1/2 years now and sure we've had our ups & downs, but we're happily (for the most part) living together. What I would like to know is this...is it "normal" for me to look at other women and appreciate their beauty? Sometimes I find myself looking at another woman and thinking, "she's beautiful" or "wow, what an attractive woman" or "dang, look at that ___!" I don't act on these thoughts of course, but sometimes I wonder if it's normal for me to be having these kinds of thoughts or not--I have them often and sometimes catch myself taking a 2nd or 3rd look. Should I be forcefully trying NOT to have them or should I just let them be because after all, they're just thoughts!

I know that I would never act on them because quite a few of these women have actually began to flirt, hit on me, or whatever and I was unresponsive and happy to mention that I was spoken for. Sometimes I just think that after people are together for so long it's just normal to take their looks for granted and appreciate everything else about them...so when you notice the people that aren't in your life day in and day out it's easy to focus on their appearance. Does this make sense or am I way off? Please advise...

Thanks!!!
-Anonymous

very normal! don't feel bad for looking at other women.

[Makaveli]

Well, Martoch... Part of me wants to say "You shouldn't be having these thoughts because you are suppose to be true the one you are with, but then the other part of me thinks, who in the world doesn't think like that every now and then!? Lots of people have thoughs like that, and IMO it is ok as long as you know you would NEVER act on it and also both you AND your partner let each other know that you love each other.

Hey there is an idea! For everytime you think that about someone else, go tell your girlfriend that you love her! lol..

-MaK

[EndobioticChaos]

Of course it's normal. That's part of being a guy. The only way you'd be able to entirely get away from it is... well... let's not go there.

But if you want to minimize that and stay true to your girl, probably one of the best ways is to remind yourself that you don't like your girl only because she looks good, but also because of who she is. Because you value her as a person.

[Martoch]

OK, so it's normal...but how often do you do it? I swear I catch myself doing it just about every time I'm at the mall, at Walmart, etc. I'm not asking for confessions here, but most of my guy friends here aren't married or in serious relationships...so they don't have to deal with the issue at hand.

Ladies, by "guys" I don't just mean us men...please give your input as well! Do you know that us guys do this & do you women do it just as often? My girlfriend swears she never does it because she's totally happy with me...I don't buy it.

[kenyg]

Nothin wrong with eye-candy... it's a hobby of mine.

mall, airport, tavern, work, play, cutting the grass... it doesn't matter .....

I'm 100% faithfully married.



Ken

[Martoch]

Originally posted by kenyg
Nothin wrong with eye-candy... it's a hobby of mine.

mall, airport, tavern, work, play, cutting the grass... it doesn't matter .....
Ken

That's exactly what I'm talking about Ken! In some weird way it actually makes me feel better to hear you say you do it just as often. I appreciate all of your inputs thus far...I'm sure there's more to come on this.

I have had a few people here tell me that I shouldn't be looking at women like that because I'm sinning since that is considered coveting in their eyes.

[draboo]

i ve been married for 24 years and if i had to say "i love you" to my wife for everytime i looked admiringly at another woman,well,lets just say i d have a full time job.

still do it to this day,tho running into displays at wal mart has got to stop LOL (that was embarassing)

i may be married and 50 years old but i aint DEAD

your doing fine,mr anomymous

[Martoch]

Originally posted by draboo
still do it to this day,tho running into displays at wal mart has got to stop LOL (that was embarassing)

i may be married and 50 years old but i aint DEAD

your doing fine,martoch

LMAO Draboo! Thanks for that entertaining--and helpful--response!

Who's Martoch? I'm anonymous, remember! Shhh....

[caddmannq]

Yer normal. The only thing you gotta watch out for is getting caught "watching."

I yer wife notices, then you immediately have to say something like, "My god! Did you see those hideous shoes???"