675,865 reviews,
402 today

Richard Cranium · 06-20-2002, 01:13 PM

1. Get up before the Master, go kill a squirrel and prepare fresh biscuits and gravy then GENTLY ask if the MASTER is ready to arise.

2. To alert the MASTER when a major league football, baseball, hockey, basketball game or race is on the TV.

3. To screen his phone calls in case work is trying to call the MASTER in away from his important duties of keeping the couch held down.

4. She must wash and wax his pickup truck at least one time weekly, even if the next day the MASTER is going hunting or mud jumping.

5. She must keep the grass cut and the gutters clean so that the MASTER does not get dew on his shoes from overgrown grass, or dripping from overflowing gutters.

6. She must ask permission before speaking,, such as raising her hand,,, quietly.

7. If his friends are over drinking and acting stupid,, she must wear her French Maid outfit complete with garter, fishnet hose and 7" spike heels, even if her 16 hour job at the Waffle House has made her feet sore with blisters.

8. If during their drunken state, one of his friends gets a little handsy with her mini-skirt she must smile and pull away,, GENTLY .

9. If she plans to have HER friends over, she must first check the TV schedule for any sports events or War documentaries.. The War footage is very important to a man. Even if he has seen it 745 times before, the Master will act in astonishment as if it is the very FIRST time viewed.

10. When viewing a fishing show, she should NOT spoil the program,, by telling him that the Host is about to CATCH A FISH..

11. Lastly, but most importantly, It is the responsibility for "the WIFE" to follow ten paces behind the MASTER with her head bowed as a sign of her SILENT OBEDIENCE
BYW, in case you didn't guess already, I'm SINGLE

DrVette

)

Epidemic · 06-20-2002, 01:22 PM

Oh this is the Taliban guide to better living.

lost-and-found · 06-20-2002, 01:22 PM

hehe, when I get me a g/f we'll test those rules out

nunyadam · 06-20-2002, 01:24 PM

and with those rule's I would guess your going to stay that way for a long, long time.

nunya

geekgrl · 06-20-2002, 01:30 PM

This is why so many women have decided to be lesbians!

Who can blame em!

ClubMed · 06-20-2002, 01:34 PM

Oh no here we go again with that subject! lol

caddmannq · 06-20-2002, 02:09 PM

Dang, Doc! You forgot some of the most important ones!

She will not use the MASTER's tool box, nor his tools, nor especially his power tools, fishing, or hunting equipment, without explicit instructions, and only to clean and/or polish such articles.

If ordered to repair the leaky toilet, or unclog the garbage disposal, she may (with permission) use the "old tools" from the rusty tool box on the back porch.

She will not use a table knife as a screwdriver, nor the vice-grips nor channel-locks as a hammer, and will in no instance even touch the wood chisels, jack plane, draw-knife, torque wrench, timing light, dial indicator, air wrench, drill bits, nor vice.

She may purchase tools as a present for the MASTER's birthday, or Christmas, or Father's Day; provided that she ask him in advance exactly what brand to buy, and which accessories will be required to come with it.

If allowed to have a car, she will park it in the driveway, and she may only enter the garrage or shop when summoned to do so.

If she should download a virus or worm onto her computer, she will inform the MASTER in a timely fashion, and it will be repaired at his convenience. In addition, she shall forfeit her shoe allowance for one year to the MASTER's Liquor and Fishing Tackle Fund. In no instance will she attempt to use the MASTER's computer, nor borrow any of his disks.

Should she fail to feed the MASTER's hounds, and they should chew up his Lucky Fishing Boots, he may sell her china cabinet to purchase a new trolling motor.