Flaming poll!!!

[Epidemic]

Should someone stay home with the kids. are they better off in day care.

I think that if possible one person should stay home with the kids at least till 1st grade. We have to cut corners everwhere to do this. We eat out like once a month and go to the movies even less. We have two used cars total value of 4800 dollars. We do this because we believe that the kids are served better for having parents at home.. Of course there are parents who suck and should be neutered. and others who's combined income keeps them at subsistance level. But as a general rule kids are better off with parents male of female.

We cut our expenses in order to do this. many people who make more than us say they cannot do this because they cannot afford to do it. But peoples definition of "cant afford" is usually warped by Wants not needs. New car, cable, long distance calls and or vacations.

[MDdan]

I didn't find an option that I 100% agreed with. I felt like the "if you can reasonably afford it" was too soft. Even if it makes things tight, kids are still better off with a parent at home.

I don't judge people who make other choices specifically, but at a broad level, I judge our culture for choosing profession over children. Kids don't need money, they don't even need "quality time" for 2 hours every saturday. They need "quantity time", and parents who place the children over their own selfish ambitions.

Some daycares are better than others. And I think my two year old son would really get a kick out of playing with a bunch of other kids every day instead of being home with mommy. But when we're busy and don't get as much one on one time with him, I can see the effect on his mood and behavior. I suspect that if he were in day care 50 hours a week, he would interact with us much differently.

I think the socialization argument is weak. Kids who have good loving relationships in the home have the skills to have good relationships with others. Young children need time with their parents, you're certainly not depriving them by not sending them to day care!

Once again, I don't judge people specifically for sending their kids to day care, some people don't have a choice. But I think many people who could choose differently don't, and their kids pay the price.

[osprey4]

Originally posted by MDdan
...some people don't have a choice.

I think more people have a choice than will admit to it. My wife and I made the choice years ago (when we couldn't figure out how we would be able to afford it) for her to stay home. Even on a modest salary, she's passed up a couple hundred thousand dollars. If we'd gone the daycare route, we'd be in a nicer house, driving nicer cars, with more put away for college and retirement. But we definitely made the better choice.

John

[MDdan]

I agree 100% JnMHayes, my wife has been home for the past 2 years, and neither of us would change it if we could. The van may have 267,000 miles, but she's good for a few more years. In a few more years, my son will be starting school. I would not trade the time my wife has with our son for a 2002 Caravan. Not even the new Mini Cooper for me to drive to work. Or a new house, or a new bike, or a ......good grief I'm too good at coming up with stuff we "need."

No regrets at all.

[HfdWolfPack]

Personal experience:

I worked third shift for 5 years so that I could raise my son during the day and my wife take care of him in the evening ( I averaged 4 hours sleep a day for 5 years) Although sometimes my mother would watch in 1-2 days during the week, he was primarily raised by us. I do not trust day-cares....sorry.

In return, I have a son who calls me daddy (not uncle), respects my wife and I , listens to us, has a fantastic personality, and says I am his "best buddy".

He may be slightly spoiled as he is our only son, but when we say "no" in the store when he wants something he doesnt put up a stink about it. He sometimes may get pouty (sp?) about it for a minute, but doesnt cry or throw a tantrum.

Only downside I see is the socialization. It took a little while to adapt, but he is doing fine now in 1st grade and has 5-6 "buddies" in his class and a few in other grades.



My in-laws on the other hand, both worked during the day and had their kids at a day care for about 5 years.
They do not listen to their parents at all, get obnoxious in the store, cannot share for the life of them ( they "had" to buy 2 Dreamcasts, 2 N64's and sometimes the same game twice because they could not share. > yes it is very frustrating to see this< The ultimate in spoiled. Even when they throw a tantrum in the store, mom would get it for them to "make them be quiet"


They are getting better now that my mother in law is watching them during the day but ...........

IMHO, they are hard-working people that need to balance parenting and work more toward the kids.


Not sure it has 100% to do with daycare, but I am sure it has some to do with it.

To answer your question....No daycare for my children

[Epidemic]

well I am sorry about the reasonably afford it but there is limited space for the questions. By reasonably I mean that with out having to cut out shelter Wholesome food and reasonable clothes. Of course the shelter you choose weighs heavy on it. You may have to bring your housing to a reasonable level. I chose the location I live in to reduce our costs and built a frugaly. My wife has a hard time watching the rug monkeys but that is our obligation to take care of them. We chose to bring them into the world. hand me down clothes and toys abound. My wife even sends the middle daughter to preschool for three hours a day with our entertainment budget.

[Epidemic]

I don't associate the poor behavior directly on day care. But on the fact that parents want to be friends during the time they are in control of their carpet eaters. many try to make up for the day away from the kids by being leinient. When you only have kids for 3 to 4 waking hours a day you want them to be fun.

Lots of people not casting votes. I thought I pretty much had the bases covered with the options.


OOPS my bad, every one had voted need laser eye surgery i guess.

[amdkt7]

I object to the idea that kid's need socialization. I think that idea is being used to get kids at an early age to brainwash them...

Really, though, kids need a lot of attention, but it needs to be from a caring adult, not from playground bullies. I think the more time kids spend with their parents the better they will be able to handle other kids when they are older.

Kids sink to the lowest common denominator, put them in with a bunch of kids and they will result in some awefull behaviour.
They will learn the worst things and bring it home and share it with their brothers and sisters, not to mention germs!

If at all possible keep those kids at home, or find a "grandmother" or someother stay at home mom to watch the kids, pay a little more and get a lot.

[HfdWolfPack]

epidemic-
I don't directly associate it either....directly, but, i am sure it doesnt help either.

many try to make up for the day away from the kids by being leinient

or letting your kids walk all over you, then when they enter the real world, they will have to realize not everything is handed to you.



amd-

I think that idea is being used to get kids at an early age to brainwash them...

So locked in the house all day and only outside with the parents and home-schooled would be ideal?

I agree about kids acting like other kids ( lowest common denominator factor......to a point though.. proper parenting can sway that behavior)

[EndobioticChaos]

There's no real substitute for loving parents...