We have come to an unfortunate part of this wonderful debate when we start to mix the depravities of the human condition with thoughts about religions and God.
God has never instructed men to make women subservient, AFAIK. No in the bible, not elsewhere I have ever heard of. Men did that. They took some writings from those who attempted to explain how God intends us to live together and twisted them for their own sakes. I have no problem with anyone wanting to live a life which is modest and respectful (eg wearing a veil), but I am saddened when people abuse their positions of influence and cast judgement upon others in the name of "religion". The Taliban and the KKK spring to mind as vivid examples.
Is it any wonder people get defensive or confused about God? We get so many mixed messages from others. That is not to say they are all wrong, but as Paul points out in the Bible, we need to check them all with our view of God as he has revealed Himself to us, and let the spirit of discernment he palces within us decide. This includes what I preach or hear preached from the pulpit at my church (not that I ever preach at my own church LOL).
God doesn't disappear in the face of human depravity; in fact I believe He is always there to help us sort things out. We only need to be open and willing to allow Him to do this. IMO, for as I said, that's what I believe.
Cheers
Mick