Jokes part ?

[korgul]

It is a beautiful warm spring day and a man and his wife are at the zoo. She's wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless with straps. As they are walking through the ape exhibit and pass in front of a very large gorilla, the gorilla goes ape. He jumps on the bars, holding on with one hand and two feet, grunting and pouding his chest with his free hand. He is obviously excited at the pretty lady in the wavy dress.

The husband, noticing the excitement, suggest that his wife tease the poor fellow. The husband suggests she pucker her lips, wiggle her bottom and play along. She does and Mr. Gorilla gets even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead.

Then the husband suggests that she let one of her straps fall, she does, and Mr. Gorilla is just about to tear the bars down. " Now try lifting your dress up your thighs"...this drives the gorilla absolutely crazy. Then, quickly the husband grabs his wife by the hair, rips open the door to the cage, slings her in with the gorilla and says, " Now, tell HIM you have a headache!"

[jman01pa]

A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs.
She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and
asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.
Their insight may surprise you.

Better to be safe than...........................Punch a 5th grader.
Strike while the ...................................Bug is close.
It's always darkest before....................Daylight Savings Time.
Never underestimate the power of..........Termites.
You can lead a horse to water but..........how?
Don't bite the hand that.........................looks dirty.
No news is..........................................imposs ible.
If you lie down with dogs,you'll..............stink in the morning.
Love all, trust.......................................me.
The pen is mightier than the..................pigs.
An idle mind is.........................The best way to relax.
Where there's smoke there's.................pollution.
Happy the bride who...................gets all the presents.
A penny saved is.................................not much.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and.......you have to blow your nose.
None are so blind as............................Stevie Wonder.
Children should be seen and not...........spanked or grounded.
If at first you don't succeed...................get new batteries.
When the blind leadeth the blind...........get out of the way.

And the favorite...

Better late than...................................pregnant.


J

[BlackRain]

Absolutely love that last one. Been there.

[Brainchild]

hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

[Brainchild]

An older couple on vacation in CO, stop to get gas, the woman,who was driving ,tells the attendant to fill the tank.
While washing the windshield, he asks the lady where she was from. She turned to her husband and yelled What did he say?
He wants to know where we're from, he said.
she looks at the attendant, and says Arkansas.
Arkansas the attendant says, I knew a lady from Arkansas once, mean woman, nasty dispossition, argued with me all the time. Just no way to get along with her!
The lady yelling at her husband askes, what did he say.
The husband replies, He said he knew ya!

[Brainchild]

hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!