another dog joke

[Vagabond]

I saw this on another site and after reading the dog journal i thought i share it

Help Wanted

A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."

A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined.

Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager.

The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair. The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer."

The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to demonstrate his expertise with various programs and produced a sample spreadsheet and database and presented them to the manager. By this time the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I *still* can't give you the job."

The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said, "Yes, but the sign *also* says that you have to be bilingual."

The dog looked at him straight in the face and said, "Meow."

[angelcat]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[MegalosSkylaki]

REAL DooGs DON't "MeoW" !

DOOOG

P.S. And Pa-LEEE-EEZE spel DooG correctly

[TheBurningCat]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!! ROFL!

[Mike]

LMAO

[nunyadam]

good one.

Subject: Cover up?


One day a farmer's donkey fell into an abandoned well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old and the well needed to be covered up anyway; so it just wasn't worth it to him to try to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They
each grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.

Realizing what was happening, the donkey at first cried and
waited horribly. Then, a few shovelfuls later, he quieted down
completely.

The farmer peered down into the well, and was astounded by
what he saw. With every shovelful of dirt that hit his back, the
donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up on the new layer of dirt.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of
the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty
soon, the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off, to the shock and astonishment of all the neighbors!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick
to getting out of the well is to not let it bury you, but to
shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a stepping-stone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up.

Shake it off and take a step up!

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

Free your heart from hatred.
Free your mind from worries.
Live simply.
Give more.
Expect less.

Also, the donkey kicked the sh#@ out of the guy that tried to
bury him. Which brings me to another moral for this story: When you try to cover your ass, it always comes back and gets you.

[Agent_Embryo]

rotflmao

A duck walks into a pub and heads straight for the bar. He asks the barman, "Have you got any bread?"
"No sorry, we don't sell bread."
"Have you got any bread?"
"No, I just told you, we don't have any bread."
"Aw right then. What about bread? Do you have any bread?"
"Look you stupid little duck, I don't have any bread! And if you ask me for it one more time, I'm going to nail your beak to this bar!"
The duck pauses to think. "Have you got any nails?"
"No."
"Have you got any bread?"

[OuTpaTienT]

Little Johnny goes back to school on Monday and the teacher asks the kids if there was anything exciting that happened to them over the weekend.

Little Johnny is waving his hand like crazy, well the teacher knows how little Johnny is so she doesn't want to call on him.

Finally, she gives in and calls on Johnny, "All right Johnny, what did you do this weekend?"

Johnny says, "I rode in my wagon and had my dog pull me, well we came to this steep hill and we got going really fast, my dog couldn't run fast enough...

...and the handle of the wagon got rammed up his a**."

The teacher interupts and corrects Johnny by saying, "Rectum Johnny, it's Rectum."

Johnny says, "Recked 'em? Damn near killed 'em!"